Anger


I just wanted to say that I have become angry today, I don’t know why and I really don’t feel like trying to process why I am feeling this way. I think I will just be angry. What am I angry about you ask, well hell let me tell you. I am angry cause I had to take 3.0mg of xanax just to get what sleep that I got last night and no it wasn’t much, I am angry because my phone is ringing and it is the same fucking person calling me, get the hint I don’t want to talk to you right now, I am angry because no matter what there is always a TV on in almost every room of this fucking house and all of them are too fucking loud, it is like they are trying to compete with each other to see who can turn it up louder, I am angry because now I am processing why I am angry and I didn’t want to fucking do that, I am angry cause The Walking Dead hasn’t come back on yet, I am angry because I am tired of hearing I am bored, well what the fuck do you want me to do about it? You have everything in the world that you could possibly have, find something to fucking do, I am angry because I want my wife to get better so that she doesn’t keep scaring the fucking shit out of me constantly and I won’t have to check on her 500 times a fucking night, I am angry because when my wife asked me to go and get her lunch I did it, but I couldn’t go and do it for my son yesterday. I am angry because I am angry, I don’t think that I have had one moments peace the entire time we have been back at her mothers, like I said it is always loud in here, and I am angry that the TV in the living room and the TV in my mother in laws room are on the same fucking channel and it causes an echo in the house, she knows that the TV in the living room is on the same channel she is watching why can’t she turn hers off and go in the living room and watch that fucking TV and turn hers off(wait I already said that and that pisses me off too) but wait

do you see me, do you really see me, then know me for my name is rage, and in my name I have saved you from those whom would do harm unto you, do you see me, do you really see me?

she can’t do that she will go in the living room to watch TV and then leave her fucking TV on, I don’t understand that. I am angry because every time I try to write a fucking blog I leave out words that help my sentence structure, that really makes me fucking angry. And just this second I am angry cause I am out of Diet Pepsi, I will be right back to continue this fucking post. And now I am even more angry because I go into the fucking kitchen and look at the fucking microwave and the fucking thing says please press start to continue, every fucking time I go into the kitchen the microwave says the same fucking, can you not hit the fucking stop/clear button when you are finished with the damn thing, apparently not, am I the only motherfucker in this house that does that, I guess that I am. I am angry because I have tried 5 fucking times to type the word angry and it always is either missing or has an extra letter in it, or the letters are rearranged, I am really angry that I keep leaving words out of sentences that really belong there, I know I have said that one before, but it just happened again.

Now I can tell what you all might be thinking that most of what I am angry about is the little shit, stuff I should not be worrying about. But understand this if enough little things happen they add up and pile up on each other till it gets at you and then you hit your breaking point. That is where I am at, I can’t tell you which one of these little things has set me off, or even if all of them set me off, but they have and now here I sit seething and fuming in my own stew of anger. Which I seem to have brought upon myself, it wasn’t anything that anyone said or did or didn’t do, it seems that the little things have caught up with me and today I take my stand and take back some control of the environment around me, ya like that is going to work.

I put dishes in the dishwasher and my mother in law goes right behind me and rearranges them, I have been using a fucking dishwasher for fucking years I think I know how to load a fucking dishwasher. If I sweep the floor she goes right behind me and resweeps it like I have never swept a fucking floor in my life, for fucks sake I was in the Navy for 4 fucking years it was a required course at boot camp, sweeping and mopping floors, I mean who fucking better to learn from than the US Navy on how to do fucking floors. I am angry because I want a chew and my lip is so raw from dipping that I can’t even enjoy my one and only vice, that really pisses me off. Well whether you understand or can follow the logic as to why I am angry then fine but if not then come live a week in my shoes and you will understand, the one good thing about being angry it that the other aspects of myself are quiet, I guess they don’t want me pissed at them, and now for the last reason I am angry. I hate the fucking backspace key I know it is there because I use it a lot, but can I hit it the fucking first time, hell no I usually hit the damn the prntscrn key or the fucking delete key or the backslash key, but no never the damn backspace key. Oh and one more fucking thing, if we can spell check our post why the fuck can’t we spell check our replies, just saying that I don’t want to seem like a dumb shit who can’t spell but people my brain isn’t right especially right now………………………….. time for anger management classes, I think not, for this to shall pass.

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