Makes me wonder


It makes me wonder where my life is going to go from here, I know that I have to go back to my shrink and get the ball rolling with him again, I know I have to find a therapist that understands DID, which is no small feat on its own. But for me where is this life going to take me. I don’t ever have to work again as you know I have gotten my disability and it should start soon. I also have my own set of misgivings about being on disability as I have expressed before. I don’t want to live the rest of my life with out some kind of direction. I used to have direction especially when I was in the military, I don’t know if I have ever posted on here about my military life, I think I touched in it during my blogs about people who come into our lives part 4, but that wasnt really telling how I felt about the military or why I was so good at it, aha another subject for a post right there. But we are here to see if I can give the rest of my life a little direction. I know we need a home of our own and that is priority number one for me, and we need to fill it with the things that we need, you see when we left our other house I wasnt able to get everything out including our furniture. So we will need some of that. Talking about this makes me depressed, we have lost so much over the last several years, and I don’t think we will ever get it back. On top of that this damn laptop is pissing me off, why can’t I just type and get the freaking words out in the order that they fucking should be. What am I going to do with the rest of my life? I don’t really have any hobbies any more, well except blogging right now. I mean think about it there is nothing that interests me right now, so does that mean I can’t develop new hobbies? And learn to do different things? I don’t know if I can learn new things like that or not we will see. It aint much but it is my life and I will have to do the best with it that I can.

don’t know which way to go, will I make the right choice, or will I screw up and really lose my way

 

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