This my point or a point to me

I have been reading again, and yes sometimes that is not a good thing for me, you see sometimes when a person reads too much about their medical problems they get to the point that they start to get scared, scared of the things that could and might happen to you, The thing is, is this what you read and what is actually happening to you are two different things, when you read about your different issues you then sit and ponder, is this also happening to me. I understand that knowing about your issues and problems is a good thing but when you are reading and come across something that really doesn’t apply to you, you as a human with a brain automatically stop and start to look for other things that you have read that might be wrong with you. I know that I am guilty of it, I have been doing it all morning now. That and drinking the hell out of some Diet Pepsi, but that is not a bad thing right there.

you hold my heart in your hands, please just once let me tell you how I am feeling, I will always be your friend, but sometimes I need you to be mine

I came across a quote from a doctor that isn’t in the field of mental health but sums up kinda my point that I would like to share,  Sometimes all a doctor can do is simply hope his advice and prescriptions are being followed and that fate will intervene to protect patients, from themselves. This simple quote spoke volumes to me, you see we as patients tend to self diagnosis, from reading, to talking to others and just looking at our self in general. Point in case have you ever been talking to someone and they tell you well I have such and such and this is how it males me feel? Well we as humans often look at our selves and try to see if perhaps that what they have might just be what we have, and I find that true especially in the mental health field and it has happened to me, I was having a conversation with a friend of mine the other day and after telling them my medical symptoms they simply told me that, that was just how they were feeling. Now my diagnosis has taken many years to get right and many doctors, tests different trials and tribulations and I was not diagnosed over night and they didn’t just look at me and say poof you have DID, Complex PTSD, depression and anxiety. People inherently, whether they do it automatically or if they do it subconsciously seem to just take on other people’s symptoms, I don’t think they do it on purpose, I think they do it to try to explain what is going on in their own lives. I have tried to look up why people do this and have yet to come up with a definite answer, and it doesn’t seem like I will, but I am sure that others of you out there have had some of the same experiences that I have.

We as human beings are automatically care takers and as such we tend to take on other people’s problems whether they be emotional, physical or otherwise, we just can’t seem to help ourselves, and this in its own right can be a big issue, especially for us with mental health issues. Now I am not saying to be cold-hearted and not  listen to others and be compassionate to other people’s problems we naturally do that, but here is the down fall, we all try to help fix those other people’s problems, we all do it from time to time and then we forget to take care of ourselves. This goes for all of us whether we have mental problems or not.

Take my wife for example, not to be mean or unjust it is just who she is, she takes the problems of the world upon her shoulders and she just can’t help it, she is a helper. She listens very well and can sympathize with what a person is feeling, and does her level best to help that person with their problems, and she can do it most of the time. But there is a flip side to that coin unfortunately, she doesn’t get that help reciprocated back to her if she is having problems like she is right now and needs someone to talk to, well it seems that they listen for a bit but then turn right around and start telling her what their problems are and then the whole cycle of having to help that person starts over again, I get it myself, when I just need to vent or get something off my chest I get well you think you got it bad let me tell you what has happened to me, and I listen but cripes can’t I just tell someone that, hey I am not doing so well can’t you listen to me for just a minute. It most of the times doesn’t happen that way. I love the way my wife tries to help as many people as she can, with out dumping on them the problems that she is having, she is a very unselfish person, but for those of you out there please, especially right now just listen for once and let her know you are listening and please try not to turn it around and make it all about you, she needs someone to listen to her besides me, I am good listener but sometimes you just want to talk to someone else. She is a little scared right now as COPD is in the top 5 in mortality rates in the USA right now and it is hitting home for her, now that she has bronchitis again. She will never show it to me and Dylan but I know that she is scared it is my job as her husband to know these things. Once again I don’t know if I have gotten my supposed point across cause the content of my post has changed, but know this the only way for me to die is 2 ways suicide and natural causes, but for here she could become so sick that is might happen with out her wanting it too. I know that all of you out there that read this understand, but how do I get her supposed friends to stop and just listen to her with out dumping their problems on her in return? I don’t think it can be done, now here friends are not trying to be selfish in any way, but down the years Gerri has helped them out unconditionally and ya it is her fault for not standing up and saying when is it going to be my time for you to listen.

Tell me what you think.

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