A long way to go…………..


I feel as though I have given an eternity to you

But it’s only been a spark in the darkness

a long way to go from me to you, from understanding to love, i will not walk this road alone, this i swear to you, for beside me is where you belong, and beside you i belong

You have given all you have to me, many times

But it’s only a been a spark in the darkness

You give peace, love, understanding and positivity

I bring only anger, hurt and rage

You give all of you everyday to all the things you do

I give only what I can and it never seems enough

People flock to you for guidance, compassion and understanding

People flee from me to out run the anger, hatred and rage

We are a part of a whole you and I, but I always get in the way

We try to find happiness, and yet all I do is get in the way

You look at the world and find something, even if it is very small to make yourself a better person

I look at the world and see and feel that I have to defend myself from everyone and everything

You embrace the world and find the confidence to move forward

I embrace the darkness that resides in me and find a place to despair in, always looking back

Would that I could see the world through new eyes and new understanding, perhaps then we would be on the same page, reading the same lines, moving forward together as one whole unit. I cry in shame for the way I sometimes make you feel, I burn with envy at the things you hold so dear, including me. I always wonder why you stay, what you see in me that I myself cannot see, why do you hold the purse strings to my heart and never let them go, do not ever think me ungrateful for that, for without you to hold me I would but fly away, and be lost forever in time, always the same never growing, never changing, never loving. I cling to you my life thread, always trying to make you see that I can be better than I am, but I always get in the way. I know how hard it is to understand me and the destruction that you see me go through every day, and yet there you are when I least expect you, pulling, pushing, tugging me right along with you, whether I want to go or not, knowing in my heart it is the right thing to do, do you ever regret me, do you ever think I will not get there, and if I do will I still be in time to follow you on yet another great adventure. I worry I am holding you back, and in all honesty it is me that is holding me back. Do you ever wish to leave; if you did I would understand. But I know how strong you are and how stubborn too. How long can you hold out and wait for me, I hope it will be long enough, I have a long way to go.

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