My time spent in the suck zone called SSA


Well today at 1:45pm I went to the SSA to have another interview with them for my disability, and as usual it pissed me off, I think the purposely do things to make you angry, or it could just be me. So I drive all the way downtown and find a parking spot, cost me 5 dollars to park for 1 hour,  but ok. Go through security no problems, go to the room where I am suppose to be, once again no problem, check in on their computerized system, no big deal. Sit and wait, I got no problem with that I was prepared for that I had my kindle fire with me for entertainment purposes. A woman calls out my name in a fairly reasonable amount of time, cool I am thinking this is going off better than I anticipated. I follow the woman back to her little area of work and sit down across from her. She explains to me that the SSA has gone paperless so I will not have to sign anything, but that she was going to ask me a series of questions and if I would be as honest about the answers as I could, that if I provided a false statement I would be perjuring myself and blah, blah, blah, blah. So she starts with the questions, about my living arrangements as of this date, and I tell her where I am living and with whom, she wants to know if I pay rent or own my house, well you see as I again explain my living situation, and how I live with my mother in law, she stops me and asks me what her name is, I give it and then she asks me again if I rent or own the property. So me being a smart ass I sit there and stare at the woman as if she had three heads and six eyes, all the while she is looking at her monitor and waiting on me to answer, when I don’t answer she looks at me and snaps off the question again, time for me to lose my patients already? What we weren’t even 5 minutes into the interview it was the fucking first question. So I continue to stare at her and she asks the question again, so as politely as I can I answer her in monosyllabic tones that I live with my mother in law and have already told her twice that, that was my living situation. Well this prompts the other question what is her name, once again as politely as I can I say I have already given you her name and you typed it in the computer, so no I will not give you her name again. Man it just get better from here, next she asks me what happened to the home I was buying, I tell her it was foreclosed on, and she asks when, and I tell her, and you know what the next question was out of her mouth was, wait for it, I know you can guess, yep where are you living now. Ok we are now 3 check it 3 questions into the interview and yet she doesn’t seem to be able to retain any information that I give her, I refused to answer due to the fact I have already given her this information, now I am being unreasonable and she is just here to help me get my SSI case moving in a forward direction, enough, I had enough, once again I tell her that I have given her my living situation several times now and she keeps asking me the same question over and over, at least make me feel like you are listening to me, you smile shake your head once in awhile, treat me like I am speaking a foreign language or something. And I am the being unreasonable, humph. She then asks me about the children that are living in my home, and I ask currently or when I filed, she snaps at me and says is there a difference, snaps at me, oh boy were are getting along like a straight man at a gay pride festival. I say yes there is a difference my step daughter is currently living with her father, and she says was she there when you filed, yes she was. Ok, next question, and this one get to me a little, have now or ever been convicted of a felony or have you perpetrated a crime in the last 6 months, well I say I have never been convicted or even charged with a felony, and if I had perpetrated a crime in the last 6 months do you think I would actually tell you, well that’s me being a smart ass and my answer set off all kinds of alarms with this woman, she leans towards me in a confidential manner and tells me that if I have committed a crime and not been caught in the last 6 months she wouldn’t tell on me. I gave a small chuckle and replied that I appreciated that she would not tell on me but that I had not committed a crime in the last 6 months I was being a smart ass, you know sarcastic, if you could have seen the look on this woman’s face, you would have pissed yourself, I was actually starting to have a good time with this, and this woman was losing all of her professional composure, I mean she looked like she wanted to slap me, and probably would have if she could have gotten away with it. I figured I had better cut her some slack, but only a little just in case she asks another repetitive question. Ok on to question 4, see we are getting on like a house on fire and I knew I was pushing my luck, but at this point I didn’t care I just wanted to leave.  Ok question 4 was what are my current resources, I ask her to clarify and she runs down this list of things like, bank accounts, I don’t have one, life insurance, nope, stocks, bonds any type of investments, I reply the only investment I have ever made was to my marriage, hey I thought it was cute, but she didn’t, she replied that I knew what she meant, ok so much for lightening the mood I had set, this woman really didn’t like me or my attempt at cuteness or jokes now, was it time for me to get serious, nope not me. She asks me if I still own my van, yes, asks me if I still own my car, I reply well it is my wife’s, but yes it is my name, again she leans forward in all confidence and tells me that I need to put the car in my wife’s name that it will get me more money, cool, she is still pissed but giving me good advice, but me I just stuck my foot in my mouth and said, but wouldn’t that be defrauding the government, I couldn’t help it, it just popped out of my mouth before I could stop it. Needless to say she took offense to this statement and told me she was not telling me to defraud the government, and I am thinking man I hope they don’t have hidden microphones because this woman could get in trouble for what he was telling me, and of course I said this out loud while it was going through my mind. The color of her face was well it was turning a nice shade of red at this point, she says to me Mr. Kline what I am doing is nothing more than trying to help you out and you seem to want to insult me. Ok my brain stops me right there and tells me that this woman has been rude, incompetent and just plain crazy and we had only been sitting here for 10 minutes, ok now is where my moral department comes out in its little business suit and tells me that I should just continue the interview without agitating this woman any more, ok I agree with myself and I tell the woman I apologize for appearing rude and that could we please continue with the interview, well that seemed to appease her somewhat. All the while that aspect inside of me is giggling and I know, I just know that I will pop of with something else all I needed was fodder. I just have to clarify that I don’t know what it was about this woman that brought out the ass in me, could have been the first several redundant questions or it could have been that an aspect was coming out in me or at least brushing up against my current state and slipping through some really good shit, I don’t know but that is my story and I am sticking to it, or she could have already been pissed from the last person she had seen and just wasn’t in the mood to be at work anymore, I could come up with a million and one reasons for what was happening, but I won’t I was being an ass and thoroughly enjoying every minute I was irritating this woman, bottom line. I will not apologize for it and I wouldn’t change it one bit, I have my reasons that will be revealed soon enough. Ok I think I finished with question 4 so we can move onto question 5, do I have a bank account, I reply no I don’t have a banking account, she asks what happened to my account, I said they closed it due to no transactions, how come they would do that she replies, ok now I am struggling with myself, do I be a smart ass or do I get through the interview, but no here was the fodder I needed, nay was craving at this point, so in my best smart ass tone I reply, well I think that, that would be self explanatory, and she adds more fuel to the fire by saying what do I mean, arghhh…..and I said that loudly, it was closed because there was no money coming into or going out of the account, hence after so long of inactivity they close the account, again I am not kidding here people this part hit me in the forehead like a brick, why didn’t you have any money going into the account. Ok is it me, I am thinking or was that a stupid question because under her right hand she had a print out for the last 5 years and it showed that for the last 4 years I had no significant source of income and next to that was a print out of my wife’s income for the last 5 years and it showed no income for the last nine months. And I am here for disability. So what do I say to this, nothing I simply point to the papers under her hand and well it did take her a few minutes to realize what I was pointing at and then click there goes the light bulb. Oh she says you haven’t had any money coming in during the last 9 months, and all I could do is grimace and shake my head, wow. So that was question 5 now onto question 6 my income, and I don’t know if she is reading from a script or what but do you think she would really ask me this question after the last one? Of course she did, have you had any income since May of 2010, I shook my head sadly at this point I was sad, especially for her, she was feeding right into my hands, so I took the route less traveled and said that I had won a million dollars from the state lottery last year and we were moving to the Bahamas later this week. Do you know she actually stopped what she was doing and looked at me for a few seconds before it hit her that I was being a smart ass, really. She repeated the question again and all I could do was look at the papers that were lying on her desk, and I asked her to clarify the question, what else was I going to do, I had just told her about my banking account. I say to myself, what are we going to do now, we can continue to torture ourselves by sitting in this inept woman’s presence and continue to make her minutes with us a living nightmare or we can just answer the questions and be about our business cause we really needed a chew and a Diet Pepsi, well self agreed with me that we should just answer the questions and get the hell out of here, ok now we have a plan. Did I follow the plan well yes to an extent but not fully to the letter, like I said I don’t know what it was about this woman or maybe it was a part of me trying to come out but I wasn’t willing to let her off the hook for being so blatantly stupid or not paying attention to what she was doing or just totally not listening to me, I have no idea. Now she is still looking at me while all of this is going on in my head and if she were an observant person she would have realized I was having a discussion with myself, but no she took it to mean I was

rememberance of my time stuck in the suck zone of the SSA

stalling on the question and that I was going to lie to her about not having any income and said as much, so me not following the plan I had set out for myself grabbed the papers on her desk not saying anything at all and I showed them to her and pointed out that since May of 2010 I had, had no income hell I had, had no significant income since December of 2008. After showing her the papers I placed them in a neat pile next to her and said that this was for her future reference on questions regarding my income since 2010. At this point I was wondering if I was being mean to this woman on purpose and I took a few seconds to review the last 15 minutes of my life and if I was treating this woman unfairly, nope, right from the beginning she had set the tone for this meeting, so yes I could have and should have been more cooperative, but at this point I was to invested in making her feel like shit, and yes that is mean of me and I knew it but like I said she was apparently having a bad day and I was here to make it worse, maybe she needed to take a few minutes between clients and destress but I don’t think she did and now she had to deal with me, I do hope she took a few minutes after our interview and got a cup of coffee, a smoke, hell even went to the bathroom for a few minutes, she was going to need it. And do you think that I felt sorry for her, nope not one bit, I was having fun with this in a sick morbid way, like I said I don’t know what came over me, or why I was enjoying taunting this woman but I was, and I am still not sorry, in case you were wondering. Oh and I am out of Diet Pepsi at the house and have to go out and get more, just in case you wanted to know. Ok so finally she musters up the courage to go onto the next several questions and I answer them with no complications she asks if I am on food stamps, yes I am, she asks if I am on any state funded medical programs or if anyone in the household is, in say no. Now we get to question 8 or 9 information about my spouse, yes she asks me if my wife has had any income since May of 2010, ok really this is getting boring, now I know she is reading from prompts on the screen which I can’t see, so I ask her if she is just reading questions off the screen or making them up as she goes along, well why do you ask this Mr. Kline, and yes I get a little mean about this, I say because you are asking stupid ass questions that have already been answered several times by not only me but by you as well, and I don’t feel like you are actually listening to me at all, or that you are paying attention to what you are inputting into that damn computer and that right next to her, for her information is a print out from the paperless SSA about my wife’s income for the last 5 years. I lean towards her and look her straight in the eye and say you are just here for the pay check aren’t you, you really don’t give a fuck about me or anyone that you have seen since getting this job do you. She is really red at this point and like I said I could give a shit less, I tell her that I have come a long way to be here and I didn’t need her to ask me useless questions that she already had the fucking answer to. She didn’t like me much at this point and I can’t say as I blame her, apparently I had hit a nerve and exposed it till it was raw, still didn’t care, I just told her the answer to the fucking question and said what is the next fucking question that she had and already had the answer for. She looked like she was going to get up and leave at this point, so I tell her just to ask the questions and I would answer them so the two of us could get on with our day and I would leave her in peace. She was game for this and told me not asked me that my wife made on average $2,666.66 per month since may of 2010 and she was still working, I just sat there dumbfounded not knowing what to do, the paperwork she had next to her said that she had, had no significant income for the last 9 months. I am gripping the arms of my chair so hard that my knuckles crack, taking a deep breath I tell her that my wife was no longer employed and that according to her paper work that she had, had no income for the last 9 months. She didn’t even reply to me and went right into the next question and asked me if they had my permission to contact financial institutions on my behalf for the probability of obtaining other resources for me and my family, I agreed, hoping that this was the end of the worst 25 minutes of my life, but I was wrong. She went on reading from her screen about the penalty of perjury and what that meant and she went on to say that when she gave me print out of my statement that it would have many valuable websites I could visit an obtain additional information on different resources. So much for the paperless SSA, but I listened if only with one ear to see if she was at the end of her speech, but no I was to endure just a little more she continued on telling me to notify the SSA if I move, get divorced go back to work and so on, and so on, and so on. She then told me that all the information that she had told me about would be in the papers she was giving me to take home and review. I said ok, were we through, and she said yes as soon as she retrieved my papers form the printer, well if luck aint a lady I will shit a brick of gold, the printer had a paper jamb, and what does that mean well it means they have to call a fellow to come up and fix it due to the private nature of the documents being printed and that only the person that printed it could handle the papers due to confidentiality issues, so I had a brilliant thought why didn’t each individual desk have its own printer and what happens if more than one person is printing to that printer at a time, how would you not be able to look at someone else’s print out while waiting for yours what was the government on the honor system, oh I promise not to look at the papers being printed out while in am waiting on mine to print and what if you just printed and it finished but was under someone else’s papers, do you have to wait until that person gets there and grabs their paper work, and what if in the mean time someone else prints now you have to wait until 2 other people get there to see if your paper work is under theirs and yes I did not keep this to myself I spewed it out there for the whole office to hear. She finally gets me my paper work and says we are done. Needless to say she didn’t shake my hand and didn’t tell me to have a nice day. This is fine as far as I was concerned she could go fuck herself. I know I was really mean and I really don’t care, and as far as that goes I don’t know why I was so mean so I can give no explanation for my behavior. Well are we at the end of the story, well almost. I have left the building at this point, stopping at the vending machine in the lobby and getting a Diet Pepsi,  and I am sitting in my 5 dollar for 1 hour parking spot, getting me a chew and trying to focus so I can drive when a woman taps on my window, I roll down my window and she asks me if I have a cigarette, ok here I sit in my car, in my right hand is a can of chewing tobacco and she is asking me for a cigarette, well I was nice and told her I don’t smoke cigarettes and showed the can of chew, she smiled and left and I decided that I needed to get out of there before I got pissed and really told someone off or got into a fight. Well I get back to the house and I am still miffed about the last hour of my life and that I would never get back that time due to stupid people and my wife asks me what happened  and  I tell here you can read about it and hand her then papers the lady gave me, funny I cant even remember the womans name or if she even told me her name, anyways as my wife reads the papers she does find out how much form SSI I will be getting until SSDI picks it up, not much as you can guess but something is better than nothing, so she hands be back the paperwork and I am just glancing at the first page and under identification it says my name my SSN and under that it say I am not disabled and under that it says that I am blind and have been since December of 2008 and under that it says that I was not disabled prior to the age of 22. Well now you know how the story ends, needless to say I will have to go back to this woman and have the information changed, that should be one hell of a time.

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2 Responses to “My time spent in the suck zone called SSA”

  1. yep you were an ass…..and yes i have seen this side of you many times. this is an alter…i just didnt want to tell you….because this alter…..i hate!!!! so please if you ever have the inclination to do this to me….DONT…..it will not be pretty,,poor woman..ha ha,…yes i know redundant but she is human and has feelings and if i was there i would have given you a gibbs slap for sure…..you needed to be snapped back to reality and realize you just cant hurt people like that no matter how fun it is for you. That is how you used to act years ago if you remember correctly. i love you but i do not like that person at all. I almost divorced you because of that person so just remember that one. I do not know why you have the ass hole alter or what his purpose is but that one needs to go away…and also in this blog…you referred to yourself as we in parts and i in parts..just pointing that out….something is going on with you….i think we need to talk about it.

    • Really we need to talk, this is my place to express myself as I see fit and so far 2 people tonight have seen to it shit on what i am writing, one my wife and another was talking about Romeo Serria. If you dont like what I write and how I write then you dont have to read a damn word and I will ban you from my post. There is me and there are others of me and that is the truth i cannot control when and where they come out or why, i can do damage assesment after the fact only.

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