A small talk on why I don’t want to die…..

I am not sure how long this post will be I am trying to get my point across in as few words as possible, I feel like my posts read like novels and I wanted to see what I could do about that. A friend of mine replied to a post I had put out there last night It’s late I’m not sleeping, let’s talk about fear. It was a good post and I got many great replies on this post. But he said one thing that I want to touch on and that is death, he said he had come to terms with his death and he was not afraid of it.

Well that sure as hell isn’t me I don’t want to die I am mortally afraid of dying, first because I really don’t have one clue as to what happens next, I have said it before my belief system is somewhat skewed and I am afraid that there is nothing next, no God, no afterlife, no eternal glory. I want to believe that there is a heaven or a hell but I know that if there is I won’t be going to either one of these. The world see things in black and white you are either going to heaven or you go to hell, well I have a third option, you see I see the world in shades of grey, there are places between the light and dark in this world, and I have lived all of my life in this grey area, needing to do what I had to in order to survive, sometimes that was good and others it was bad, so I figure this gives me a third option as to where I will go in the so called afterlife and that is purgatory or limbo or whatever you want to call it. That is where I will end up, not as a lost soul but there to do what is needed no matter if is black or white.

walking forever walking, learning to be learning, what comes next oblivion or just more of the same

Really I want to live forever on this mortal plain, I want to be immortal. If for this reason only, I want to see what happens next, I want to see the new developments in science and medical technology, read the new authors that I know will write the next great adventure. I want to see how human kind develops or if monkeys will become sentient beings or dolphins or any number of intelligent creatures on this earth evolves, do we finally find out that we are not alone in the universe. That is a small part of why I want to live forever. I know that I won’t but I sure as shit can dream about it. I don’t want to be stuck in an eternity of beautiful angels and having everything we never had on the mortal plane, to walk golden roads of peace and harmony, that just sounds boring to me, nor do I want to be forever tormented by the bad things I have done in my life for any perceived evil deeds I might have done, once again how boring would that be. Just leave me here to watch and follow mankind onto the next phase in our development. That is what I want, to be left here even if we nuke ourselves into oblivion and I walk this earth alone picking through the dust and debris that is left of humanity. I want to walk the earth and find the creatures of my imagination, like elves, dwarves and all sorts of fae creatures. I want to travel to each country in this world and learn about every culture. That is what I want to be a walker of the earth a student of mankind and its many peoples and history and to know the fate of these cultures and how they will change the dynamics of the world.


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