Its late at night I am not sleeping lets talk about FEAR

Fear, fear is a gateway to other worlds that we don’t want to travel, fears lead us to a place whether real or imagined. But fear is a gateway. Fear is that whisper in the dark as you lie in bed knowing in your mind you are all alone, but wait what’s that sound, the sounds of slow steady breathing, can you smell that or is it your imagination, it smells like days old rotted meat, the carcass of an animal found dead on the side if the road. This is just my brain playing tricks on me, but wait what is that a shadow in the corner, that wasn’t there a few seconds ago, and your mind goes from there and follows a thought process you have laid out in your mind, it will continue to create more and more by feeding on your fears, this is but one trick of the mind when it comes to fear.

Imagine this you are up late, you can’t sleep and you walk into the kitchen to get a glass of water or perhaps a glass of wine to slow you down so you can sleep better, and as you are standing there you feel a whisper just a whisper of someone calling your name, you know you heard it. But where did it come from. Do you investigate or do you run to your bedroom and crawl back into bed and sit and watch and wait till you hear it again, was that it, was that the sound you heard, the soft whisper of your name. Your heart starts to beat faster, the palms of your hands get sweaty, a sheen of perspiration shines across the brow of your head, you know you heard it and it sounded so real, what do you do now, you know for sure that you heard something call your name. But what was it, a trick of your mind, some unseen force that is now in your house, is it a ghost, a spirit of some sort. You may never know unless you go looking for it. But you know you won’t fear won’t let you, it will keep you galvanized to your bed under the covers until the dawn comes, and then you feel foolish for letting this scare you in the middle of the night.

What more craziness can fear create, well this is one theory, you are home alone and yes these will deal with people being at home, most of us don’t go out much to begin with. But you are home alone and sitting watching the television and you see out of the corner of your eye a shadow pass by the living room window, at first glance you dismiss it but the act has already started in your head, you are already prone to fear, as most of us are it is part of who we are. So you sit curled up in a comfy blanket watching whatever is on television, the you see out of the other corner of your other eye a shadow slip past a different window, and you notice the shadow is roughly the same size as the last, you see with fear you mind is already cataloguing this information that you saw the first time and has stored it away for future reference and perhaps after you see it a, second time you dismiss that one also, but see by now your brain has taken over and subconsciously you are more aware of your surroundings, listening for sounds looking for other shadows to reference the last two you saw, but wait did you just see another shadow cross the same window as before, it might have been and now the fear Is really creeping up on you, what if it is someone trying to get into your home, and you start thinking are the doors locked, what about the back door, should you go check it, and the windows what about the windows are they locked, now you start second guessing yourself and you know now that someone is outside your home, what do you do call 911, but what if they come out and find no one there you would look like an idiot. I have got to check the backdoor you think to yourself just to make sure it is bolted, and just like that you get up and start heading to the door you think you see the same shadow cross a different window, now you are sure that there is someone outside, you run to the kitchen and check the back door to make sure it is bolted and you start backing away from the door, horror pounding in your chest that whoever it is outside will somehow try to get inside, typical horror scene you say person trapped all alone in their house with a shadow man creeping around outside, well yes it is but you cannot imagine how many times this plays out in a person’s mind. I have given you 3 different scenarios that actually play out in people’s minds, and those of us with mental issues fear is a gateway, it is gateway to fear, paranoia, anxiety, and it plays havoc with those of us who have schizophrenia or bi-polar illness, hell it affects people without disorders.

fear, fear dont follow me now, i will live my life without you and the emotions you bring so fear, fear go away

I have brought this up to say this we control what our minds see think and hear and how they react to any given situation, with that in mind I am no expert and I suffer from fear along with most of you and my fear can be diblitating and can cause me to shut down and not leave my house, not able to drive, or go to the grocery or even pick up my meds from the pharmacy, and no I have found no way of dealing with my fears, this is just my way of saying that it is ok to be afraid, and if you are let someone know even if you have to wake them up to go outside or check the house to make sure that there is really no one there so that you can try to relax, I do it to my wife all the time of course if she thinks I am afraid being a former soldier then perhaps she should be carrying the gun instead of me, I might freak out and shoot the neighbors cat. Just food for thought people.


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