So what did happen at my PCP


I guess I will tell you what happened at my PCP after all. Well I drove to the office and was a few minutes early and went in to sign in, hey where are the sign in slips, ok well no slips so I wait for the receptionist to finish her phone call, and she tells me the office has gone paperless, cool I am for becoming green and one with the environment. She asks me to step around the desk so she can get my information, ok cool. I am thinking that she is going to pull out a tablet or a notebook computer but no she starts to use the golden oldie desk top model that is sitting there in front of her, ok we can work with that. She enters my information and then tells me I can head upstairs to the Doctors suites, alright this is going well I am early for my appointment and am being seen right away, no waiting I was 15 minutes early. So I head upstairs and hit the waiting room up there and just happen to glance at the sofa, thinking this thing has seen more ass than an old hooker at the bunny ranch, so I decide to sit in one of the chairs next to it and just before my ass hits the seat the nurse calls me, now this is cool I am going right in I won’t be here but for maybe 10 minutes, get my script and be on my happy way. The nurse takes me back and gets my weight 214 lbs, gets my height 6’-1” tall and takes my temp and gets my o2 levels. So far so good she then takes me to my room where I am to wait for my Doc. She sits down on the little round stool that you find in most doctors offices and reaches around and fires up the old computer, now this one is a little better than the desk top down stairs, it is all housed in the monitor and is slaved to a network so cool, I did notice that neither she or I had my chart, which was more than a little odd cause the damn thing is thicker than a dictionary and reads just as well. I didn’t say anything, and she starts asking me questions and explains that they were just starting out with the paperless thing and it was still a work in progress, I am good with that. So she asks about my meds and some other things and then out of the blue she tells me this would be easier if she had my chart, well I agreed with her everything she was asking could be found in my chart, so she calls down for them to send up my chart. Notice that I am saying as little as possible to this woman, well I have been berated for my behavior at the SSA office so I was saying as little as possible so I wouldn’t repeat my former behavior. Not at my doc’s office, I have been seeing these people for decades, plus I am tired and I hadn’t slept much the night before. Well she gets all my information from the chart and enters it into the computer and during this she asks me what I thought of her son going into the Army, so being the good little soldier I told her all the good points to my time spent in the Army, and she listened and was telling me her son wasn’t a trouble maker no run ins with the law no drugs but he had a bit of a mouth on him, I told her he would get over that soon in the military. This whole process took about 15 minutes, so much for me getting in and out, she finished and put my

you aint touching me with that thing Doc

chart on the door and said the doc would be in, in a few minutes. So I sat back and waited for the doc, I could hear him first in the room to my right and then to the room to my left and as I was listening I started to doze off, I know the door to my room opened and I know that he was reaching to wake me up but before he could touch me I told him not to touch me I was awake and that him being a former captain in the navy he knew better that to touch a former or even a current soldier, you call his name or rank to get his attention first, I wasn’t an asshole about it I was just matter of fact about it. I sit up rub my eyes and cheerfully greet my doc he really is a great fellow. Of course he asked how I was and I said you want me to tell the truth or lie to you, he said tell the truth it was easier to work with, and half smiled. And so we begin, I tell him I haven’t been sleeping and of course he gave the predictable answer, why. So I explain that my wife is sick and all that goes along with her medical situation and told him that I had a monitor in my room so that if anything happened to her in the middle of the night I could hear and help her out. He said that not sleeping exasperates my mental issues and that I needed to get more sleep, I tell him that I do sleep but it usually in the am after I know her mother is awake and can look out for her, well this is not good enough for him but I explain that it will have to be for now till she gets better, man could I see the wheels spinning in his brain. I go on to tell him about my son and his sleeping conditions and he is the one who told me to try as hard as I could to get my son to sleep in his room that sleeping next to his mother would create his own kind of problems, and with two of us having issues I didn’t want to have my son dealing with his own set of fears, too. I agreed and he told me to get my wife involved and get her to help our son to make it easier on him. Well part of my wife’s and sons conversation last night was that I didn’t understand his need to sleep next to his mother and I didn’t hear her help me out in one way all I remember her saying was that she understood. Not quite the help I was expecting, so I got up and told him to go back to bed. Now back to the appointment I told him about my trials both at the hearing and of the day before at the SSA, and he asked what they based my disability on and I told him anxiety, well he hit the roof and actually shouted that the reason for the anxiety was a byproduct of the DID and PTSD, I didn’t argue with him he is right. Well I hop up on the table and he checks my blood pressure which was 130/70 not bad and he listens to my lings and my heart which he said was taccardic but all was well. I jump down off the table and we chit chatted some more, well it was more of me rambling about different things but you my doc listens to everything I say including my musings, and he interjected in what spots he wanted clarification and he said he was writing the script for Adderall and he gave my Seraquill to replace the Zyprexa which is fine but I have been without the Zyprexa for so long I don’t even remember what it did to me, but let me tell you my wife sure as hell thought she knew, she said it was a mood stabilizer and that I damn sure needed it cause it helped me out a lot, and here I thought I was being a great husband and taking good care of her, I guess not, one hell of a blow to the old ego if I do say so myself, and me being me I didn’t take it last night and I don’t know if I am willing to take anymore medication at this point in my life, my doc is great but I do get tired of the lets throw some pills at it and see if that helps mentality. Well that is what happened at my docs yesterday and coupled with the fight me and my wife had on face book where she called me evil or rather she called my alter evil which is a part of me, well you know what I am saying, it has out me in a fuck that I just don’t like and I want to tell her and I think I have that she is married to all of us and we do the best we can to try to be normal and not go all cockeyed and do stupid shit but it does and will happen, if you don’t like my attitude wait 5 minutes I am sure it will change, but not today, that has been crushed under the boot heel of accusation.

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3 Responses to “So what did happen at my PCP”

  1. Bourbon Says:

    Do you know something your memory is astounding!! I could never do a post like that, so intricately remembered, ever! I wish I had a memory like yours :p

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