Please Look at me and not in Anger

Do you see me, do you really see me

do you see me can you see me look past this to see the real me

Or do you see with tunnel vision eyes only the outside, the anger, the hurt and betrayal

If you would, if you could but open your eyes a bit wider would you see inside of me the remorse, the shame and the pain I know I am inflicting

No you but see the outside of me and the armor of anger I have built around me, only to scorn, blame and accuse

But open your eyes a little wider and see the battles waged in my heart and mind, trying to contain the words and thoughts that hurt and destroy you

But you don’t see that, you respond to my anger with anger of your own, only to fuel the fires of my anger in that it is right to say these things

Do you think I act this way of my own accord, could it not be the real me saying the hurtful words that have fallen on your betrayed ears

I don’t know if you are able to look past the anger and see me, the me that shout in shame and defiance at what I am doing to you and those around me

Am I able to rage at rage, to overcome the anger with anger, wondering if the anger I feel for myself is but fueling the anger that is already there

I want to put out the fires of rage but emotional water doesn’t quench the raging infernos in my mind

Knowledge of what I am doing does not stop the fires; it flows without thought as to the harm it creates

I do not think you will ever see past the hurt I have caused you to stop and wonder where it is that this is coming from, that job is up to me you see, I am the only one to put out this fire inside of me and I only need from you understanding and time, and perhaps more love to quench the flames


2 Responses to “Please Look at me and not in Anger”

  1. If you take photos and want to submit to our site ever, please be in touch. We’re a group of people who photograph and have experienced mental illness in one form or another at some time. Depression or anxiety counts, so you could be a match. I hope you find some relief soon either way. Ask if you have any questions.

  2. Bourbon Says:

    I can relate to this

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