Something from K the one not allowed a name…..


Shall I tell you more of Dan? I wonder if any other than our wife really cares, the stories I tell and have told were not meant to scare anyone off and yet it seems I have. Do not think of Dan as a bad person, he is good hearted and kind in his own way. He titled the last post I wanted to write, harm none, I agree with that, he doesn’t want to harm no one except himself and I am hoping that has passed, I am hoping he no longer sees that as an option. Without him none of the rest of us would exist. He is looking into his past and I agree with the wife that looking back at that point in his life will more harm than would help, he is not strong enough to look at those things that have made him the man he is now. Looking back only brings anger and hate and I would have to intervene more if that were to happen. I can see what he wants, he wants reasons and answers as to why this happened to him, I can see it in his mind even though he doesn’t know I am looking, the medicine is good for him, yet he doesn’t think so, I feel it working and yet he still complains about it bitterly. I wish he would give up chewing tobacco, even now when I appeared he had some in his mouth, it is bitter and stings my mouth, but I am afraid that if I were to take it out it would cause a connection with him and I and I am not ready for that type of actual connection, I know he knows I am here he has read what I have wrote, he didn’t like that fact that I told some of his secrets, but I did not out of malice but out of understanding for he needs to be reminded what anger can do to him, how it can control him. I wish that none look upon him in fear, for he has not hurt anyone. He will be upset at me for saying that. But I am afraid that I went too far in my telling last night. I am here now to put right those words I spoke last night, I was trying to shock him into realizing what would happen again if he let the anger control him. The fear giver made him this way and though he doesn’t know it yet he has nothing to fear from him ever again. But he cannot see this, it is etched across his mind and the anger keeps feeding it to him all the time. Anger won’t let go of him, and I won’t let go of anger, it is a battle I have fought before and won and it is a battle I will keep fighting until our last breath. I finally spit out that vile tobacco I could stand it no longer, if I do one thing right I will rid him of that disgusting habit. I will tell you a little story of Dan not so long ago, you see his children kept hearing kittens mewling in the walls of the house they were living in, and Dan with the help of his sons located where the kittens were, Dan broke a hole in the drywall and they saved 5 kittens from death. His children being children were excited by this find and they wanted to keep the kittens and well he let them, they named them and well didn’t take very good care of them that was left to Dan and the wife. In true Dan temperament one day he was mad and could only hear the kittens crying and mewling wanting food or attention or whatever. He stormed into the kitchen and took off his shirt and hurled it at one of the kittens catching it full on with a wad of shirt, and as the shirt fell off the kitten he could see that the little thing was twitching and having a seizure of sorts, what he had done and witnessed tore through his heart like a wave crashing on the shore, knowing that he might have killed the tiny animal and unable to live with himself he ran, right out of the house in the middle of a thunderstorm and he ran to the side yard and stood looking up into the cold rain letting it soak him clear to the bone, running his hands through his hair, screaming at the lighting in rage and fear at what he had done, he stood like that for what seemed to me hours just letting the lighting flash and the thunder boom and letting the rain wash over his angry body, trying to cleanse the very hateful thing he did from his body and mind. After so long in the rain his body and soul soaked to the very core, he made his way back to the house, wondering if he had killed that poor kitten. As he walked through the front door where everyone was waiting for him, he realized his wife was holding that little kitten in both hands, slowly walking towards her fear on his skin, he realized that the wee little thing was just fine, he had not done any permanent damage to anything or anyone except himself.

With much gratitude and devotion,

K

PS. Shall I put a picture of a kitten out here for him, I think I will for I am pushing him the most right now, and would like to see his reaction.

for you to realize all will be fine, as long as anger doesnt take hold again

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5 Responses to “Something from K the one not allowed a name…..”

  1. Take care, Dan; I’m glad the kitten was fine. I don’t mind hearing from all of you.

  2. Bourbon Says:

    Your openness will get you all a long way. B

  3. SPECIAL KAYE Says:

    thank you

    • I dont know why you are thanking me looks like you need to thank Khayleth and not me, i didnt do this hack job and biullshit, not the storey i would have told but he did and i wont retract it, make me out to be a hurting type of person so far in both his little slip ins,thinks he is needed now why dont you ask him where he went when i needed him the most, now you know why i will not the fucking things have names or I wont give them to you.

      • SPECIAL KAYE Says:

        i didnt take this one as a bad one. To me it sounded like he is trying to let you know you dont have to be afraid anymore….and i was thanking him for that ….and you have named this one remember….YOU ARE NOT A HURTIN TYPE OF PERSON… sounded to me like he was saying the anger alter took over and that is why you were shocked, all you did was throw your tshirt at the washer which is where the kittens were, you went outside and when i went to check on you, you were crying remember? You didn’t know why you did that and when you came back and saw he was ok you felt better. We can talk about this more later. I just felt this needed to be said on here. Dont worry honey.

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