Internal conflict exposed…..

It looks like I am going to have and internal dialogue on the outside instead of well being internal. Hang on tight folks this could be very interesting to say the least. How many times do I have to say it I don’t want to know the names of my internals, but it looks as if Khayleth is going to be different, he is using the moments just before the drug puts me to sleep to sneak in and try, or what it looks like he Is trying to do is tell something about me that I don’t want anyone to know about just yet, hell people I am not even in therapy, so I don’t understand what he is doing and have no reference to base it against? Maybe that is not the right way to say it.

Should I tell you where Khayleth came from? Am I ready to start letting him have some control in my daily life, not yet, he can keep sneaking through the back and side doors all he wants, but to fully come out with him, I don’t think I am ready. But he is telling secrets, some I would rather keep to myself, I mean does he have to use some of the violence that I have done in my life to try to explain to me, Gerri, hell all of you what kind of man I am? He is making me out to be violent and yet by telling all of this and then saying I am a good man, is he really getting his point across? I have no idea what he will say next and that bothers me, at least he hasn’t taken control of me during the day, and I am hoping that he doesn’t. I mean what kind of conversation would that be like and how in the world would the people around me react. No Khayleth is not violent or angry but he recalls things that are better left buried in my mind where no one is allowed to look at them, I mean he is starting to give details and settings and feelings that were involved, if he starts telling of the other stories in there and in full detail I am afraid that I will lose my wife and child. I wonder if it wouldn’t be better for my family if I didn’t just come out and tell the myself, but I can’t, like I said those memories are better off left buried and not brought up. So if I am not posting for a bit or if you noticed that I have posted but it is removed it is for my own safety and that of my families that I have removed the post.

With much gratitude and devotion,

Dan Kline


2 Responses to “Internal conflict exposed…..”

  1. It’s terrible when the past haunts. I am sorry, Dan. It’s scary to share; there are things I’ve done that would look terrifying to be seen from the outside.

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