Here is Part Two in DID poll that I have been taking

Part Two: DID Poll

As hard as part one was for me to answer I am hoping part two will be easier. One question I have been asked is if it made me feel better to put this all down and answer the questions. I will put the same reply here that I gave them, if I said yes and no would that be correct? It took a lot for me to answer some of the questions that were asked, and some answers took me by surprise in that I even answered them, others were not as hard as I seemed to not understand the question being asked. So here we go to part two see you on the other side.

Does your psychiatrist know you have DID? Do you think your treatment is different because of it?

Yes my psychiatrist is the one who diagnosed me initially. And my treatment so far has been aimed at controlling the outlying effects of DID such as the depression, anxiety and actually the ADD.

In your system are people comfortable identifying who is out? Does it differ between a close friend, your therapist, a doctor, family and so on?

So far the only person able to know if it is me or another aspect that they are dealing with is my wife. My Doctor and I haven’t spent enough time together to talk about it.

Do you feel that during the time of your abuse that your abusers were aware of your multiplicity?

I think that my fear giver was only aware of what he himself was feeling, it didn’t matter what we or I felt, so he defiantly wasn’t aware of our fractured state.

Do you experience e-mails, phone calls, postal mail or any other questionable contacts from past abusers? How do you deal with that?

Well I don’t have to deal with it anymore they are dead. But before that the fear giver would call in occasion and I would deal with him like I was dealing with a superior officer, which sent me back into the place I was as a child.

Before DID, were you diagnosed with other Psych disorders? Do you still carry any or all of those labels?

The first issue I was diagnosed with was anxiety, then followed major depression with suicidal tendencies, I was then misdiagnosed with several other disorders and then finally when I met with Doctor S he diagnosed me with DID, and yes I guess I still carry the labels of the other issues and probably will the rest of my life.

In 2 sentences summarize the day you were first told about DID.

I can summarize it in one sentence that may turn into a ramble, the first day I was told I had DID was filled with a lot of answers that were not answered because we would cover it in the next session, that session never came. Thus here I sit with only the information I have from my own research and no one to turn to for answers. But I have the ability to now set up another session with Doctor S and hopefully we will get the answers then to the questions we have now.

When you look at old photographs, or are told about events from the past, are you able to determine, or are you told by others inside, who was out during that event or picture? Can you figure out who was out then?

I have huge chunks of memory loss during the time I was a child and into my teen years, so I couldn’t tell you who was out and who was in, I have no idea. Also the fact that the fear giver destroyed all of the pictures from my childhood doesn’t help. And when I am told about something that happened when I was younger all I can do is nod and smile, because I don’t remember.

Have you ever lost more time than a few hours? A day? Two days? Half a week? More than a week? More than a month? More than a year? (post abuse…)

I lost my whole fucking childhood, why is that? I had to have some good memories from then didn’t I? I mean really to not remember any of it except what I was told, well I have to say based on the answers I gave in part one I do have some recall of my childhood, if I didn’t how did I answer those questions, do you see why I am so confused?

Do you provide your insiders with age/level appropriate educational experiences? Do you try to encourage mental growth as well as emotional maturing? Had you ever considered this?

No, not at this time, I am having a hard enough time dealing with the here and now to consider much in that way.

Do you have little’s who have abilities clearly beyond their years? Such as preschoolers who type well, 5 year olds who know how to take a bus across town, do you have any insiders under the legal driving age who know how to drive and are allowed? Do you have little’s who can speak well, despite being 2 or 3 or 4 years of age?
In relation to question 94, what do you think the reason for that is, if it is true for your system?

I am not aware of any little’s in my system yet, like I said before I hope they are there, but as of right now they are silent or still ghosts in my mind.

Have you ever permitted a behavior to an insider that you would not extend to an outside person of the same age? Such as allowing a 16 year old to drink, when you would not approve of that with a 16 year old not in an adult body.

I am not sure what age anger is, but I know that Khayleth is an adult and quite possibly older than I am, so I have not had to experience this yet.

How do you manage different insiders’ desires to be or not be in relationships?

Don’t seem to have this problem once again.

If you stopped talking right now, how long would it take someone outside the body to realize you were intentionally not speaking? If you did the same experiment inside, how quickly would someone discover something was wrong?

I have stopped talking on the outside and it took a long time for someone to notice that I had actually quit talking, but I am also prone to long periods of not talking to begin with, but that has only started recently, I would say within the last couple of years. Now as for inside hell it is never quiet, so I can hardly get a word in edge wise and for their only being two of them that I know about they make a lot of noise.

If you were given 24 hours to bring just 1 person into your system, for a visit, who would you like to invite into your inner world, or would you choose not to?

Now that depends on what type of person you would allow in my system, and since you didn’t specify I will pick……. Mila Kunis, it is a guy thing I mean who better to have in your system than a very attractive woman. Actually my choice for person to bring into my system would be better than  that, I was actually poking fun at the question, I would allow my wife to visit my system so that she would be able to better understand the amazing amount of energy that it takes to be me. Now the one person I would not invite is everybody else, even if you brought outsiders in you would still get bigotry, accusations, denial, and a host of other shit that people bring with them. And unfortunately they still wouldn’t understand due to simple human stupidity.

Come up with an analogy for DID and share it with us.

I think DID is like a clown car even after you think all the clowns are out of the car, each time you open the door another one comes out. There that is as good as I can come up with on such short notice.


3 Responses to “Here is Part Two in DID poll that I have been taking”

  1. Bourbon Says:

    That is one GREAT analogy!!!!!!!


    good job honey

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