I HAVE HAD FUCKING ENOUGH…..


i am fucking pissed

This is it I am so fucking tired of not showing when I am angry and when I am not, I put on this happy fucking face and go around like I am not angry or even upset about things when I really am. I try to do things around the house and all I seem to do is nothing right. I get the feeling that I am over stepping my bounds every time I fucking turn around, ok so what did it this time. Once again it is little shit, nobody wants to take time and listen to me, nobody gives me credit for a damn thing, everything I touch becomes a fucked up mess, and so I mean really just FUCKING really. Nobody pays one damn bit of attention to me at all I am superfluous I am nothing, I am a ghost in the machine. I am here for Gerri and that is it. So what you do the dishes almost every night, so what that you cooked dinner tonight everyone already fucking ate and didn’t tell you a goddamn thing, like the fact that my son ate 3 hotdogs and my mother in law ate 2 fucking hotdogs and did they tell me no, it would have saved me from heating the fucking house into an oven literally, and I could have made something for Gerri and I that didn’t involve heat and sweat and 45 minutes of my time for them to sit down at the table and say oh by the by I already ate. Well don’t you think you could have told me that, it is 106 fucking degrees outside and not much cooler in this box of a house? Nobody and I mean nobody seems to appreciate what I even try to do, I have said this a million times and now I will say it again, if I am not doing it right tell me how you fucking want it done don’t go behind me and redo it, it is a waste of my time and yours, but is that done fuck no, I mean for fucks sake I can take a little direction, and if I do, do something wrong let’s not make into a fucking national emergency. Today I tried to do something nice for my wife, she really likes to be outdoors and sit and watch whatever she wants to watch, but because of her health she can’t get out of doors right now, so I got my happy white ass in the hot ass car and went to Home Depot and I bought her some indoor plants some with a little color cause I thought she would like that, and I think she does or at least she said she did, but then comes her mother right behind me and tells her well this aint going to work you need bigger pots and more potting soil and they aren’t all going to fit on the little table that I bought so they could fucking be close to her so she could look at the fucking things once in a while just to get a little spot of paradise all her own, so I put my happy white ass back in the fucking 106 degree car and back to Home Depot I go and I get some bigger pots for the fucking plants, which will probably be wrong cause mother in law didn’t pick them out, I think I did a fine fucking job of picking out distinct different pots for her plants no two are the same and they are each different in their own way. Is it so fucking hard for other people to just appreciate that I even fucking try; can a mother fucker get some recognition? So once again I am sitting in my room with the door closed so that no one can see that I am fucking angry, and I can hear the mother in law in the kitchen piddle dicking around right behind me doing whatever it is the fuck she is doing, I am sure I didn’t load the dishwasher right or something to that nature oh and I ran grease down the sink, even though I had the hot water on to make sure it didn’t clog up the fucking sink, and the tator tot casserole I was cooking ran over and I got the lecture about anytime you have a full casserole dish always put something like a cookie sheet under it so it won’t drip on the oven and smoke and then you have to clean the oven so that it is spotless. Ok so I already knew these things put the extra grease that you drained off the meat in a can let it cool and then and only then throw it away, and well I might not have put a cookie sheet under my casserole but I forgot. I do them in my own house but for fucks sake let me make a mistake I aint fucking perfect and I was very hot and I don’t feel very well because of the heat that I went out in, oh and before I forget I did get Gerri some of those spicy chicken bites from fucking McDonalds when I was out so she ate too. At this point I am never coming out of my bedroom again, they can all go to hell, and what the fuck is up with the TV the damn thing is so fucking loud that I can hear it through a closed door, I know there are fans in the living room but does it have to be so fucking loud, and don’t, don’t go saying anything cause that will let people know that I am angry, never mind that loud noises are a fucking trigger for me, but see that don’t matter I only have mental issues I don’t have a real problem like Gerri, am I right, see if the mother in law doesn’t think so, when I go bat shit crazy from all these little fucking things that are going on and I fucking destroy the entire house and the police are carting me away to the fucking loony bin the only ones to blame are the others in this fucking house. My son, well he slept all day till around 5pm WTF. I understand that there aint a whole lot to fucking do but get your ass out of the bed the rest of us do we don’t sleep all fucking day, Gerri excluded and all that. I can’t even enjoy a decent fucking chew, I have been chewing so much that it has burnt my fucking lip, and I want a fucking BEER, I want one so bad I am willing to down a six pack in the parking lot of the fucking store just so I can have one. Bah fuck them all, they can kiss my fucking ass, and no I don’t feel better as a matter of fact I think I am even more pissed than when I started this fucking thing. And even though I am fucking pissed off don’t think that you can get me to change my fucking mind about going to fucking Russels, but you are sure pushing your luck on that one Gerri, if I were you I wouldn’t even fucking mention it to me tonight cause I won’t be responsible for my mouth if you do, and that is a threat, take it use it against me if you want I don’t fucking care. I HAVE HAD ENOUGH TODAY, ACTUALLY I HAVE HAD ENOUGH FOR THE REST OF MY FUCKING LIFE TIME.

5 Responses to “I HAVE HAD FUCKING ENOUGH…..”

  1. That sounds like a really nice gesture, what you did with the plants.

    I hope thinks get better for you soon.

  2. Oh Dan…you don’t know how much I feel for you right now. You see, I try too, and I never seem to quite get there. Sometimes it’s because “I didn’t listen”, sometimes it’s because “I wasn’t trying hard enough”…the fact of trying seems not to matter. And then I think, why bother? I might as well not do anything at all. But oh, no – that would be far, far worse.

    Sigh. I hope venting on here helps. It’s not nice to be angry around everyone else (I know).

  3. I am going to have this tatooed on my fucking chest so all i have to is raise my shirt so people will know to leave me the fuck alone

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