Whispers in the darkness, who am I…..


I sit here and I wait to be seen and yet he does not notice me, I wonder why he doesn’t notice me I am a big part of his belief system, and yes he does have a belief system and I am that part of him that holds it together. I have only talked to one other and only one other knows I am here, what will he think now that I have spoken, will he banish me from his thoughts like a mist in the breeze, or will he embrace me and allow me to grow as he has Khayleth the warrior. I feel like a mist swimming in a sea of fog, I have no sense of self, no identity, no name and no emotion, well perhaps some emotion I have what I think I felt was compassion for another in distress and sent her white light to surround herself with to calm her to protect her and to give her peace, so that she might sleep before the morning light comes. She will need her strength for the coming day for like all days there are battles to be won and battles to be fought whether in our own minds, or in the physical world. I have given freely of myself to this young woman and I feel her drink of the light that I have sent her, using it to surround herself with the protection I have offered, she will need it, but she is also a very strong young woman, who in her own right is very powerful and very willful or at least some part of her mind is, I know this young woman not, only from the interactio0n she has had with Dan and Khayleth the warrior, they have shared many words and I know that she is part of the reason that Khayleth came out so strong when he did, Dan needed this great warriors strength and wisdom to overcome the anger that had entered Dan system and was taking control. And yet I wait to be seen or heard, I am not sure Dan is ready to know I am here. And if I post this he will know, and I will be banished forever to the nether regions of his mind where only dark shadows roam wild and dangerous, but yet I will post this and he may take this as a good sign that he and Khayleth are not alone, perhaps I too shall give him my name or I will give myself a name, yes one that describes who and what I can do for Dan, and he will come to know and love me for who I am and what I can do.

 

What would you name me based on what I have said so far? I wonder what I will name me or if Dan will even allow that to happen, he needs to grow in order to live and survive. This much I do know.

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7 Responses to “Whispers in the darkness, who am I…..”

  1. I don’t know enough yet, Dan, but this new one seems peaceful. I hope he/she remains that way. I might name you Inèr, or Inèroèd, which means heart, or good heart, in the ancient language of Erâth.

    • wow she really likes it Iner, is the one she likes the most, dont know how to get the little mark over the e but wow thanks, i wonder if she will change her name she picked Serena. we will see what she does it does fit her better than the name she picked out, i will let her read this and decide for herself

  2. wait, i’m confused. is your name Dan? or no?

    • yes my name is Dan, i have DID and i have more than one, how should i put it, well i have different parts to my physicy spelling be damned, due to a very traumatic childhood and my mind has split into very different parts of the whole me, i know kind of messed up and i am new to my diagnosis and i am finding new alters is what we call them, and apparently i have a new female alter, and i am not sure of the role she will play in my system that is what we call the different alters in our body. hard to explain but it is call dissocative identity disorder. it is easier for you to look it up than it is for me to explain

      • yes i know about that….usually stems from something really traumatic. That’s cool that you are riding with it. I had some traumatic stuff in my childhood as well, so i get you. I had a brain scan, and it was very interesting. There’s a lot you can do these days to naturally heal yourself if that’s a route you are looking into.

      • really right now the only natural methods i use are meditation guided and unguided, guided is better it give my mind something to focus on instead of wandering away from what we are trying to do, i am going to try tai chi and maybe the exercise from that will help me to focus my energy a little better plus tai chi just looks soothing and relaxing, the flowing movement and the natural positioning of the body should help, i am all about trying to help myself be at peace, i have been angry for so long that it has taken a real toll on my body, i wont go into that but i am sure you can guess what that kind of stress does to your body, after i left the military i tried to keep up my physical fitness routine but the depression took over and well that went right out the window, so now i spend my time reading writing about some of my military experiences and blogging on here about all the rest of my life and the craziness that it is

      • wow really amazing story you have

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