A note from Serena

You take things upon yourself, you make decisions based on what you think are facts actual facts. Are you the one to make such decisions for others, you are supposed to be the head of the family, I mean how many times have you told the boys that this is a Dictatorship and you were the head dick. Do you ever take into consideration how others will feel; do you realize that with the decision you make how the others will feel? You now feel you have to make all the decisions and have no one else to talk to about it, why, what is the difference, they can’t do it themselves right?

You are still at this point you feel like you have taken or done something wrong and you aren’t able to get past it, that is the truth right there, you feel like you have done a bad thing, Gerri seems to be going with the flow, although her flow is sleeping most of the time, and up in the middle of the night. But still all in all she seems to have agreed to what has been decided, the problem is did she just give in or did she really agree. Hell you question yourself so much and you don’t trust in us to help at all, or you just tell us to be quiet, or as you put it yesterday to shut the fuck up. Don’t you know that we are a part of you, that we can help when needed not in only times of stress but during the times between, use us as a sounding board, run it by us before you go and make decisions, we are you and you are us, so don’t you think that we might have a little input in the decision, we will not tell you anything that is untrue, or that will cause us pain. We can work together and help with any and all problems that you and the family, which includes us, need to make. Yes it does sound a little off that you must talk with the voices in your head, but that is who you are and if you remember it has been like this for years. You are now more open to what you need and who you are in reality, you can now allow us to be a part of your life as to where once we were subjected to that place in your mind where we were not allowed to even exist, but you have changed and are accepting who and what we are, a part of you. I am not angry with you but the decision has been made and now you need to live with it, it is not a bad thing you just need, or we just need to figure out how to make it work to the benefit of all involved. You have to help Dylan with having something to do, you have to start going with Gerri to her Doctors appointments, how will you know what you can do to make her better if you don’t know what is going on with her, I know that Nannies truck has air but it also has a back seat that you can fit in. So go and be with her and learn about what you can do to, no quit thinking like that, it is not more responsibility it is helping and we know that you have been hiding in your room for the last several weeks, hiding from what was once important to you, interaction with your family. It was a part of your everyday life and you need it on order to keep you in mental shape, instead of hiding and worrying that you aren’t doing enough, well you aren’t and that is the facts, you have let yourself down and have let Nanny take control of Gerri’s welfare and that is not fair to her. I am not being mean and yes I am bitching a little but these are things you need to hear, this is the truth of it. So what are you going to do now? How are you, or we going to fix this, I can help, I can give you guidance and support if you will just let me, this is my role in our system, even if you sometimes think you don’t have a system. And yes you can be partially aware while one of us is here, there really are no rules to this DID issue. You have read, and if you need read some more, ask questions, find the answers you need. It is out there all you have to do is look, and all you have to do is just that do. Open the door to your bedroom, make the bed and pick up the floor and straighten your things up, it will make you feel better and make others feel like you are more approachable. Did you know it gives you wife a little pleasure to look at you when she goes by your room to the bathroom, just to see you helps even a little bit, but with the door closed you are separate from all the rest of the world. It doesn’t matter if you are sitting on your computer or reading on your kindle, the fact is she can see you and that makes a little difference to her. Go now do what you must and do it well and you will see small differences in both your wife and your son, because he is afraid to knock on the door, because you might yell at him to go away, if it open he doesn’t have to be afraid of knocking he just can walk in.



2 Responses to “A note from Serena”

  1. To Dan: listen to Serena. If her note here is representative of her, she is a calm voice of reason.

    To Serena: Thank you.

  2. I agree Serena, and thank you for leaving me this message about the way i have been acting and feeling, may the God and Godess bless you, and to help keep me inline, lol. I will try to better i have opened my door, made my bed and cleaned up my area. It is still a little cluttered but i have done the best possible.

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