I am hoping this will explain a little….. and I added a bunch more…..


So far what I am reading about being co-conscious while an alter is in control is something that very rarely happens but I am early in my research and haven’t quite defined my search terms in the right manner yet, but from what I have read so far that only one or two of the alters can be co-conscious and it doesn’t seem that the host and the alters can be, if I am reading this right so far. I will continue to dig a little further because I do not like the material I am coming across.

co-conscious?

Co consciousness is
being able to hear your alters voices
being able to know what it going on physically when the alter is in control of the body
being able to know mentally what is going on with the alters when they are in control of the body
being able to know mentally what is going on with the alters when you the host (core) is in control of the body.
being able to communicate with your alters
being able to share the alters memories
being able to share your memories with the alters….

I did come across this statement on one of the forums: http://forums.psychcentral.com/archive/index.php/t-221074.html and it does describe what I am feeling when an alter comes forward, but you see I only have the three, so I am not sure if this helps or not. I have not found one actual piece of evidence from a so called professional about this, so I am still digging, fear not people I will get to a conclusion on this even if it means my system is made up, quite frankly I don’t care if it is made up like I said earlier it is real to me. But on with the hunt. Ok so here is where I explain things as I see them due to the fact that most of the information I am finding is on different forums and not actual professional sites, so I will explain it to all of you and maybe you can understand it and help me understand it better for myself.

So when one of my different alters comes forward and has something to say or is wanting some attention or whatever they want at the time, like Khayleth writing to Bourbon from http://crazyinthecoconut.co.uk/ he talks very different from me and he gives advice that I wouldn’t normally think of and he speaks in an accent that I haven’t quite defined, Bourbon says it might be Irish or Scottish in manner I can’t remember which it was. And when Serena came forward to write to me she wrote in a soft, earnest manner that was meant to comfort and give advice, the thing is that during those times when each of them comes forward I know about it and it is like I am watching from over my own shoulder. Does that mean I am co-conscious with them or am I even using the right wording here, it is more like I am there watching and cannot do anything to control what they are doing but I am aware of what they are doing and it is not like they are pushing me aside like anger does and takes over completely, does any of this make any sense to anyone? It does to me because I am involved with it very intimately they are like an extension of me, a part of me that comes to help and to guide and to give advice and when needed comfort. I like having them here with me and I have been so alone the last week, or has it even been a week, all I know is that I felt completely alone and there was a void in my head that was once filled with talk and laughter and frivolity, this is the only way I know how to describe it to anyone and I will use this description with my Doctor whenever I go to see him again. I hope that this helps with what I have been dealing with; it feels better to write it out. I never really did find a professional reference to this subject matter, so I am done trying this is how it is for me and I accept it for me, if any one else can explain it better than I you are more than welcome to try.

I have alters, I have DID and I know am in the process of communicating with the current members of my system, I wish we could find a better word than system to describe what this is, perhaps I will Dali Lama and meditate on this, supposed to be funny people, why don’t I hear you laughing?

With much gratitude and devotion,

Dan Kline

Wait I have found more and this is from a Childs site that deals with DID at an early age, Co-consciousness refers to the level of shared awareness of existence and behavior between the host personality and the alters. Levels of co-consciousness vary from person to person from total lack of knowledge of others in the system to complete co-consciousness where every alter knows to some degree what each alter and the host personality are doing or thinking.

http://www.a-better-child.org/page/92031

Oh and then we find many questions from: http://www.psychforums.com/dissociative-identity/topic76125.html

Co-consciousness: an alter is in control of the body (out front) and at least one other, for example the host, is aware of what’s going on to some extent but not calling the shots.

Here are some questions
1. Are you co-conscious with your alters when they are out front? Some or all? How fully co-conscious?

I am fully aware of what my alters are doing but it is like I am looking over my own shoulder at what they are doing.
2. Are your alters co-conscious with you when you’re out front? Some or all?

Even when I am in control I still have conversations with my alters, and I guess that would mean that they are co-conscious when I am out front. All of them a conscious.
3. What percentage of time are you out or co-conscious with others?

With my alters they are out all of the time, so we share the experiences.
4. Was there a time in your life when you lost time and had no co-consciousness?

I have lost copious amounts of time from my childhood and teen years, and also as an adult I have lost time to what I call blackouts.
5. Do you have any idea what led to the co-consciousness?

 No I don’t it seems I have been this way since the beginning of this process.
6. With a specific alter; are you sometimes co-conscious but other times lose time to them?

I have lost time only with anger, the other two seem to want to share that time with me in a way that suits all of us.
7. Do you have any suggestions for others on how to become co-conscious with alters?

I really don’t because I have been in this state from the beginning, they have been there the whole time, well Serena did pop up a little over a week ago so it has been anger, Khayleth and me, and I think there are two others who have not come out yet, they are playing hide and seek till I get myself squared away emotionally.
8. Was there any relationship for you between hearing voices and co-consciousness with alter?

No.
9. Do you use co-consciousness to communicate with your alters?

Yes I do in talk to two of my alters all of the time, but for the last week I have been second guessing a lot and pushed them to the side, and now of course their feelings are hurt and Khayleth is angry for having his high and mighty ass pushed around like a common page, I think he will get over it, the dolt.
10. Anything you’d like to add?

I tried to ignore the fact that I had alters and it made feel like shit I was getting depressed and angry and I didn’t feel like myself, I found out that they were and are an important part of who and what I am, and life without them would be much harder than it has to be, so if like me you feel like they were made up, they are still real and are a part of you, but see I don’t think they are made up each one of them does have their own personalities and way of doing things and saying things, the are independent of me.

Now we are getting somewhere, (damn whole can of chew in 5 hours not good, not good at all) I am going to try to answer these questions as best as I can, but not right this second my mind is turning like a hamster on a wheel, (oh and I can’t have my hedgehog, nanny said not she is allergic to the poop and pee, lol great answer don’t you think) so off I go be right back.

This was taken from here: http://www.copingwithdissociation.com/Dell_2006_ANewModelofDID1.pdf

Awareness of the presence of other personalities Awareness of the presence of other personalities has been widely reported in the empirical literature on DID [16–20,24,25,27,32,35]. Such awareness is a common occurrence in DID. Moreover, many patients who have DID hear or see what some personalities say or do when they are ‘‘out.’’ Many clinicians have incorrectly assumed that a person who has DID can never be aware of the activities of another personality. This assumption, which is supported by the classic view of DID, is often cited as a reason for ruling out the diagnosis of DID (i.e., if the patient remembers what an alter personality did or said, then the patient, supposedly, does not have DID) [56]. The Dissociative Disorders Interview Schedule (DDIS) [64] and the SCID-D-R inquire about the person’s subjective awareness of other personalities. The DSM-IV does not mention that patients who have DID typically have subjective awareness of other personalities.

Ok I have found enough to satisfy myself, now to try to answer the questions above.

Advertisements

10 Responses to “I am hoping this will explain a little….. and I added a bunch more…..”

  1. It is my belief that becoming co-conscience is a normal progression of DID and that the whole experience is totally related to normal brain development but you won’t find that out there anywhere. Its my Newtons apple theory and I am still at the point of being pelted for it. Your welcome to take your shot as well!

  2. Bourbon Says:

    (In response to your other comment) Co-consciousness doesn’t necessarily mean integration is nearly upon you. I have been co-conscious for years. Before I even knew that what was going on was DID!

    Looking over the alter’s shoulder is a state of depersonalisation and it is very real and shared by many DID’ers. I have varying degrees of depersonalisation depending on which alter is out and how strong they happen to be at that moment in time. Sometimes I am the other side of the road. Sometimes I am right on their toes. Sometimes I go so far back I worry about whether I’m going to be able to come forwards again. Sometimes I am so close to them it feels more like a blend.

    Muddling through this stuff is tricky and sometimes the internet doesn’t help. Only one or two of the alters can be co-conscious? I don’t agree with that. The host and alters can’t be? I don’t agree with that either.

    You’re doing good trying to work this all through. It is complex and will hurt your brain but you will feel much better, if you’re anything like me, when you feel you know what is going on a bit better .

    • did i respond to this??

    • ok i really hate my laptop, there is a button right on the edge of the mouse pad that turns it off and i keep hitting the damn thing. now for my response, you have desribe most of the things that happen to me and i am glad to know that what i am doing isnt as unusual as the rest of the world seems to think it is, i mean yes i do have blackouts and i do lose time, but that is usually with anger he is the only one who can take over completely so thank you for helping us figure this out.

    • I was co-conscience for over 15 years before integration. I am pretty hard headed though. It shouldn’t take that long.

  3. Dan

    That does sound like you are co-conscious. When your able to see an alter, or hear them, know what they are doing, saying, even if you cannot control it, you are co-conscious. That is good going as usually the host is in complete denial of the insiders alters. So go you!

    Carol anne

  4. SPECIAL KAYE Says:

    it does make sense to me honey, i have been there with you through it all…we have gone down this road/path, whatever you want to call it, together all the way. Do not worry about the small stuff….it isn’t important. no second guessing…they are as real as you and me…remember I have seen them in your blackouts. I am witness to it all. i have been there since it started to come to the front and I am there now with you holding your hand through it all..I know I am very sick myself…but I am trying so hard to keep myself there for you too. I dont care if i am sleeping, come wake me up, like you have been to talk. i sleep a lot and you waking me up isnt bothering me one bit. We are a team and we will get past all this just like we have everything else in the last 14 years..we just have extra friends to come along is all. they are as welcome as anyone…they are part of the family now. so NO SECOND GUESSING YOURSELF MR KLINE!! Dont make me bring out Drill Sgt ‘WIFE” on you…lol….i love you honey,..keep holding on and get to Dr S and you will make it….i will make sure of it. just like you are doing with me.

    • SPECIAL KAYE Says:

      alot more info now,,.,.do you feel better? I hope so honey. See it is part of your illness…and Kayleth stop pouting hun, you’ll get used to dan being a butt sometimes. He second guesses himself a lot. lol……ha ha ha love you honey

Tell me what you think.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: