Well what do you know, I did it again…..


To say that last night was a monumental cluster fuck would be about right. I mean it started out ok, Russel was going and I always have a good time with Russel, Stephen was going and we were now 3 instead of 2. But here is where the fucked up part starts to happen Russel gets here and not even 10 minutes later Stephen calls and says he is ready so we head out the door, so off we go to pick up Stephen. After we get there he tells me to go to the little liquor store by the house, no problem we go and then as he gets back in the car he starts telling us the rules for the night, we are going to several different bars and some of them are a little rough, I am thinking fuck man I don’t want to go bar hopping I wanted to go listen to the revolver band at Spectators sit drink a few beers and go home I wasn’t out for the night of my life and with a glance to the back seat at Russel we head to the first bar called Eyzs not a bad little hole in the wall shitty band but the waitress was cute and we ran in to some friends of ours from other places, so we drank maybe 2 beers there and Stephen is like lets go boys we got other places to be before we end up at our permanent home for the night, great more traipsing around the south end of Louisville, the next few bars are kind of a haze I really didn’t want to go so I only kept track of where I was and didn’t care about the names, did I tell you I really hate bar hopping. So we ran through a couple of more dives and I keep asking myself if we were going to go bar hopping why not hit up the cooler more hip places in town, why do we keep hitting the dives, I mean they really weren’t that bad, really, but hell they were dead and never more than 10 people in them at a time. So I finally told Stephen we were going to Spectators and that was that, well finally some place I like, there were people here and people we knew and my favorite bar tender Mickey was there, Mickey have this thing were we show all of our tattoos to each other every time we get to the bar, well I now had a new one and he was ready to see it, so I had to strip off my button up, and untuck my t-shirt and pull it up so he could see, well hell everybody always looks so it is a cool thing, and it is our way of saying hello. So I go to the bathroom and redress myself and as I got back to the bar there was a cold beer waiting for me, and Stephen was gone, you Russel and I made an observation about Stephen, he always hits on the same girls every time, I voiced this aloud to Russel and he said it was because they were safe, well we stayed there and of course I thought we were done for the night and here we would stay but alas, Stephen got a wild hair after a shot of bourbon that he wanted to sing, and that was ok with me and Russel we knew the bar and it was around the corner so we went to O’Dollies and we go in order and well we head back to the karaoke area and put in a song and we wait while other sing and are having a good time, this is where I fuck up I don’t know why but I zeroed in on a table of tough looking young men and walk over and look at all four of them and said that they were MMA fighters and they said yes, and I guess the lead guy asked what I wanted, I really don’t remember what I said to him but at one point his reply was you are not even scared that we could all take you out in less than a minute, I shook my head and he really looked at me and said I was ex-military, I shook my head yes, and then he just leaned forward and said that he and his friends were just here to have a few beers and enjoy themselves that they weren’t looking to have to prove themselves and I was good with that  and I said well lf you are here to drink beer please allow me to but the next round, and we were cool at that point, I think when the beers got there I went over and I told them all that I apologize for interfering with their evening and I shook all of their hands and we all went about our business, well I sang and I don’t know if Stephen sang or not but I was ready to go, so I walked over to the guys and I was telling them goodnight and shaking their hands and well Stephen came out of nowhere and asked what was  going on and well the one guy explained it to him before I could and the next words that popped out of Stephens were well who the fuck is the badass that opened his mouth to my friend and that was about all this guys was going to take he jumped up, I am still standing in my same spot trying to figure out what happened and this guy was going off, he wasn’t going to fight but he was going to run his mouth and when I realized what was going on I held out my arms to either side pushing Stephen backwards away from the crowd and Russel was pulling him and keeping an eye in me and as we got to the front door a woman approached me and told me to go back and apologize and be a man for what happened, well I had apologized to this young man once tonight but I wasn’t going to do it for something I didn’t start, and I told her that and then another young lady just told us to leave it would be better that way. Well I didn’t see it to be exactly that way but Russel grabbed me and said never mind it wasn’t going to be worth one of us or them getting hurt, well ok that I can understand, he said the difference between these guys and us is that we were killers and they were only wanting to make the other person stop fighting, by tapping out or a submission hold and I really hate having broken bones it is a bit of a bitch, so we left and I guess the other girl ran back and told the guy what Russel said cause we could hear him yelling that we were nothing but limp ass bitches, well we stopped as one and turned towards the door and waited for the inevitable we waited for them to come out and when they didn’t after a few minutes we got in the car and I said I was done for the night and that was that, I had made enough of an ass out of myself for the next few months.

The next day was the worst hangover I have had, but I didn’t have a head ache or my stomach wasn’t upset, I just had no energy and I usually pop right out of bed the next day, so I sat and thought and then I called and talked to Russel needing some clarification on what had happened and he said all he saw was me telling the guys goodnight he could see my mouth and body posture and I was cool, he said he couldn’t see what Stephen said because his back was to him but whatever it was, was when the guy jumped up and started the monkey dance, and Russel was of the same mind that guy wasn’t going to fight because if he was he would have torn in to one of us and it would have been on but he was mouthy and well as we all know you start a fight you don’t talk you just do and that I handled myself with restraint and dignity and it was Stephen that caused the last uproar and not me.

I have decide after much deliberation that I will not ever be going out to bars again, if I want a beer I will have one where there are no outside influences, like going to Russels or when I go camping or on vacation period. And really I am not going to be drinking it is taking me several days to get over this one and I don’t have the time or the patients to be doing a lot of laying around where I am not available for my wife.

With much gratitude and devotion,

Dan Kline

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One Response to “Well what do you know, I did it again…..”

  1. That…sounds like a good idea, man. I used to go out to clubs, and honestly, it’s just not for me anymore. Give me an old whiskey and a good friend and I’m more than happy.

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