Father + Son + Major talk = FAILURE

father + son + major talk about life changing advice = FAILURE

So it seems I have failed once again as a father, to impart the advice that my children have asked of me. Dylan just came bursting into my room and said he had fixed part of the nautilus machine downstairs, he wanted me to take a look and I told him that the machine was broken and it was very dangerous to be messing around with, I asked him to come in and sit down. I asked him if he remembered what we talked about the other night, he said yes that it wouldn’t happen overnight, I said that is true, but do you remember anything else, well he got a stumped look on his face and I just said lets go look at how you fixed that part of the machine. So we went downstairs and I looked over the part that he fixed and it was fixed to be sure. I told him that he could use it but to be very careful with it and not let the weights slam together, as I was leaving I asked him if he remembered the one important thing from when we talked, he had no answer, and I said do you even remember anything else from that talk he said he remembered everything, I just shook my head and said no, no you didn’t and I know he didn’t because it wasn’t about lifting weights or really anything else but this, he needed to believe in himself and do the things he thought were right for him and he had to be the one to believe in himself, and to do it for himself, and for nobody else. So it seems I have failed once again to impart the most important advice I could ever give my children, to believe in and to do what is right for them, this could be my fault perhaps I didn’t explain it clear enough for him to understand. All I know is I haven’t felt this let down or disappointed in years, well since it happened the last time anyway. It doesn’t look like he understood any of the advice I gave him, or at least it seems that way to me. I don’t know if I will ever be able to move past this one, he is the last one in the house, I don’t know what to do. I would like to think that I have done right by him, but if he doesn’t get this for himself he will never get it at all. I am going back in my shell, for quite awhile so I am sorry Dylan, I don’t know how to explain it better than I did, I guess I don’t have the words to make you understand how important what I had to tell you is, and I would have liked to have saved you years of your life by figuring it out for yourself like I did, I thought that what I was telling you was sinking in and I had never felt so proud of you than at that moment. But I guess like the rest you will have to understand it for yourself, I am just glad I tried, and I will not try again, it was too hard to do in the first place for you not to remember anything than it won’t happen overnight.

With much regret and sorrow,

Dan Kline

One Response to “Father + Son + Major talk = FAILURE”

  1. Don’t explain, Dan. Kids can only hear so much, and talk of doing what’s right and believing in themselves – it passes through their mind. It isn’t your fault.

    I would like to say lead by example, but I know damn well it’s hard for us messed-up dads to do that, so I can fall back to saying, catch him doing good, and call him out doing wrong. At his age, he probably has a pretty good idea of right and wrong, but he will still do wrong anyway.

    Help him to understand WHY he does what he does. Ask him questions, and listen to his answers. And this is the teacher in my coming out, but think about the questions you ask. “Do you…” can only be answered ‘yes’ or ‘no’. “What do you…” means he has to explain his own thoughts.

    You haven’t failed. Dylan is a kid, that’s all.

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