Sense of Self Worth…..

I have a quote that has been at the bottom of my email since I have had it and it goes like this.

“You wonder at the future. What will the world hold for us all? And what will consciousness mean if we as men can create it? What is divinity, humanity? What is anything, after all, if anything can be manufactured… We must preserve somehow, above all things, our sense of self, our identity. For without it, we are lost, like teardrops in the rain.”

I have yet to find the author of this quote but it has so much meaning to me about faith and humanity and is really very close to being true. Now you ask why am I writing about this now. Well it is asking the very same questions that I have been asking myself for several months now, what does the future hold for me? I have no idea, I have no long term goals like I used to have they have become superfluous, one day molds itself in to another and even I can’t tell the days of the week anymore, in truth I have nothing to do so I flow from one minute to the next, I have no competition like when I was in the corporate world, no deadlines hell I don’t even have the next project to look forward to, I also have no weekend warrior training to look forward to.

I live to only take care of my wife but hell even that is not an actual chore anymore, I think you guys would be proud of her, I know I am, she is actually going to go to her BFF’s house for a week and get herself into different surroundings. I am hoping that due to the location that she may even get to go outside and sit in the sunshine or even the twilight, and she even said she was going to go to a pagan store that we used to frequent when we lived in the area, I would also like for her to drive down Mays Creek Road and just remember the sound of the creek and the wind blowing through the pine trees, my god that was the most beautiful sound in the world. Explanation time, we lived in Springfield, Kentucky in this turn of the century farm house and it sat on quite a bit of acreage but the most wonderful thing about this property was the front porch, now it wasn’t the biggest house in the world but that front porch more than made up for all the things we had to sacrifice like water, well that is a story for another time. But you could sit in the swing on the front porch and hear the wind whispering through the pine trees in the front yard, and just in the background you could hear the murmur of the creek that ran year round, the most beautiful god given sound on earth. No matter how bad of a day we had at work or if we were even fighting if we sat there it would all blow away on the breeze, I wish all of you could have a turn at sitting on that porch it puts your mind at ease and you can actually see Gods hand at work right then and there. Well hell of a side track, right? Back to my quote.

I think that man has taken over the part of God and interprets the divinity to suit his own needs and desires, the church is now the divine and not God, does this make sense to anyone? Now I am not trying to get anyone riled up because this is my interpretation of this quote and hell I may be wrong but in today’s society I can see it happening. The next part of the quote is so true it boggles the mind, we as a society can make anything we want, we have even been able to extend our life spans by years through technology and who knows what we will come up with next, and heck that goes both ways we have come up with things that will end our lived before our time, in 1930 the average life span of a man and woman was 59.7 years now in say 2011 the average life span is now 78.7 years old a difference of 19 years all due to what we can make and produce. And that goes even into the manufacturing part of the quote. The one part of the quote that most resonates with me it the sense of maintaining oneself our own sense of identity, for without it we become a card board cut out of the person next to you and the person next to them, do you see where I am going with this. Little example I worked in the corporate world where I had to dress a certain way, well to keep my sense of my own identity I did wore thins that the others didn’t, I had to wear polished shoes, I wore polished cowboy boots, we had to wear a suit except on Friday, we were required to have a belt in well I wore belts with a small cowboy buckle, see I was always just on the border of the dress code but I managed to get across to my customers that I was an individual and more than once because of that I got a project where the others didn’t.

Now in my military life the only difference that set me apart was my work ethic and my fucked up sense of humor, and that was all that separated me from the man to my left and right, we wore the same uniform right down to the same shoe laces, but that was a whole different world and best felt for a different post.

With much gratitude and devotion,

Dan Kline


2 Responses to “Sense of Self Worth…..”

  1. It has been a nice visit – to be here at your place. Your questions asked and answered show introspection not always put out there. We read a lot of blogs and this kind of conversation always puts us in a great space. I really liked your whispering pine trees – thanks for bringing us to your porch!

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