What the Fuck do I do…..

So I may need some advice, I have two quandaries that I am going to discuss with all of you and maybe someone will either have been there done that or at least understand my quandaries.

The first is my son Dylan, Tuesday was the very first day of the new school year for him, and he has made it well known that he doesn’t want to go to his new school. Unfortunately he has no choice. So Tuesday morning I get him up at 6:00am get him fed, dressed including belt and deodorant and my mother in law, bless her ever loving heart said since it was the first day she would drive him to the bus stop. Now the bus stop is only 2 blocks from our house, but that is Nanny for you. So apparently when they got to the bus stop there were a lot of kids there and Dylan not really knowing anyone started to get nervous, and knowing Nanny she told him it would be ok, well the closer it came for the bus to get there the more nervous he got, he got so bad he was hyper ventilating by the time they got back to the house and all he could say was I can’t do it, I just can’t do it. He was pulling at the skin on his arms and crying and shaking and his lips were turning blue, that’s how bad he was. So I took him in his bedroom, you know me I have been there many, many times before, I told him to take his shoes and socks off and his belt and pants and to lay on his bed, I then, speaking in a very calm manner started to teach him to belly breathe taking long slow breaths so it would help calm him down. He wasn’t quite getting the idea so I laid my hand on his belly and told him to use his breathing to move my hand, then he caught on to what I wanted him to do. After doing that I asked what had happened and he told me the same thing I told you before. His pulse was racing and his eyes were still a bit wild so I went online and looked Xanax up and you can give a twelve year old some, so I gave him .25mg and told him to take it that it would help but he would be really sleepy, which I think he really needed. I placed my hand back on his belly so he could concentrate on his breathing and was in there for about a half an hour when he finally drifted off to sleep. I kept checking on him when I was home and Nanny did too.

Next day Wednesday, I get him up he seemed fine and chipper and we, him and I head to the bus stop and when we get there, there were only a few kids but more came and in would guesstimate that there were twenty kids all together, and as time got closer for the bus to come he seemed fine right up until it got there then he started to cry and told me he couldn’t do it. So I asked him why and at first he said it was all the kids there were too many kids. I then told him he had five seconds to get out of the car and he started to cry a little harder and I asked him what was really going on and that now he three seconds to get out of the car the bus was almost loaded, he told me that he didn’t know anybody and that was why he didn’t want to get on the bus, well I got mad, saw that coming didn’t you, I told him that the only way he was going to meet anyone was to get out of the car get on the bus and ride it to school, too late the bus took off. So I had to drive him to school and the whole way there I read him the riot act about this. Now I am not sympathic to the boy’s plight but damn this is not the same kid that was fearless all summer long, what had happened to my son? I dropped him off at school and told him he had to ride the bus home and if he didn’t get on the bus he would have to walk all the way home from school it is five miles from here to there, in reality I would not let him do that but I felt a little shove in the right direction was needed and a little fear factor too. Mean I know but you have to remember I am the asshole in the family, no matter what.

Here is what I think has happened to my son from last school year to this school year.

  1. His mother is sick and he is scared she is going to die; he sleeps most night’s right next to her on the living room floor.
  2. I have been from one end of the spectrum anger wise to the other.

So you see the kid has had a rough summer emotionally, and I think that now he is showing the signs of that stress. I am having the school help me find a therapist so that he can have a neutral party to share his emotions and problems with that will listen and help him to understand what has happened over the summer. Ok so that is my first quandary.

The second quandary is my wife, now you all know how much I love my wife I have practically pushed it down your throats in many a post. But here is the problem, all summer long we knew that Dylan needed his ADHD medicine and that we needed to get him on Medicaid so he can get his pills, now on bad advice from my case worker I was told by her that Gerri needed to come down and enroll not only herself but Dylan as well. That never happened, because of the ozone days we have had this summer, so when I went to get EBT (food stamps) yesterday I found out that I could have done it myself considering I am the head of the household (only one making money, we all know who is in charge around here, Nanny)and Gerri on bad advice was told that someone other than her needed to call and get her on Medicaid, this is all wrong they even told her that she couldn’t call for herself. Wrong, wrong and wrong, this could have been taken care of weeks ago. Now for my issue with this whole problem is this, my wife is not here in the house right now she had me drive her an hour to her friend’s house so she could spend the week with her, cool I am glad to do it, until I found out that all she had to do was ride in the car for five minutes sit in a waiting room and see the counselor and poof we are done she is good, Dylan is good and then it wouldn’t be an emergency like it is now. She had had a great week right up until I called her this morning and we fought, and she told me that all I was doing was trying to get her blood pressure up so she would have to go back into the hospital, WHAT, where the hell did that come from I am pretty sure she hasn’t been to a cardiologist to be sure she has right sided heart failure, she is only going on the word of her pulmonologist and I am sure he knows what he is talking about but why hit me in the heart with a statement like that, haven’t I bent over backwards to see that she is very well taken care of, I have gotten here massage therapists and herbal supplements and a massage machine, hell I can’t tell you all the shit I have bent over backwards for her. So I called her ungrateful, and I am not wrong with the way she was talking to me and telling me things, I was not wrong I even drove four hours back and forth to her friend’s house because she forgot to pack the cord to her CPAP machine, and I got blamed for that, I was there I should have gotten it, but wait you were packing it up while I was packing up your oxygen machine, don’t you think that you might be responsible for the damn power cord, so I had to drive back to Louisville from Lebanon and then back to Lebanon and then back to Louisville, but I am an asshole, she forgets. She even told me to go to my brothers in Florida. I am so stressed out right now I can feel the blood pulsing through my veins. It looks like the days of short posts are over people, IM BACK.

With much gratitude and devotion,

Dan (the asshole) Kline



3 Responses to “What the Fuck do I do…..”


    Little more there to the story than what is here. More anger and words. I do have the heart problem as well n remember im not to have stress. Walkin home as i was told is not an option. All im gonna say

    • How much more to that story is there, I mean really do you actually remember the conversation at all? you told me on the phone that all I was trying to do was raise your blood pressure so that you would end up in the hospital, do you really think that lowly and yes in anger I told you, you could walk home, once again do you really think that lowly of me? i have driven myself into the ground and have drove myself to the point of getting sick too make sure you have all that you need and want and that you are comfortable. what you said to me hurt me worse than if you had told me you fucked my best friend imagine that for a moment, imagine that if I didnt love or care for you as deeply as I do, would I still be here? Do you know any of my past or present friends besides Schmitty that would still be here, taking care of his family? you judge me too harshly, and I will tell everyone here that in anger and hurt I did say things that probably hurtful and mean, but I did so in what I felt was my defense. If I mean that little to you then when I go camping on my own I will never come back again.

      • honey ya know our roles have been reversed….all of these words i have felt myself at one time or another. I stayed because I loved you so deeply too. the world works in mysterous ways doesnt it. i love you.

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