Hello again…..


In explanation for my absence, I wasn’t listening to myself and haven’t for quite awhile. I am freer when I am writing I can say all of those things that are floating around in my head. With that said I have freed myself from the constraints of self imposed exile, life hurts, I hurt, and it is starting to come out in physical pain all around my upper back and shoulders, I haven’t been able to control myself and have slipped in and out of my disease like taking off my clothes, I have deluded myself that I am better and yet in a way I am. I am dealing with this the best way I can and a lot of other things I am not doing so well at dealing with them at all, and yes that includes losing my wife. Oh to tell you of the things I have done in anger, I have unleashed my mouth on her so many times I am sure she hates the very sound of my name, and yet I cannot live without her, it shatters my mind to think that I have lost the only safe person I have ever known. And yet I can also tell you with all my heart and soul that this woman I have known has changed from the woman I loved, if only to show you how. I cannot change things now she has gone too far away from me to even try to explain, or even listen to me or even care. On my mind, it is broken, shattered and may never heal again or even try to get close to healing, or even moving forward. It is all so hard now, I don’t know what to do anymore, and I can’t find a direction or even a state of mind except confliction. I have never been like this in my entire life; I have never known not what to do. I wish I had a direction I wish I had time but inside me is like a bomb ready to explode. I just don’t know anymore.

With much love and gratitude,

Dan Kline

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