Fuck it…..

All in all I wonder where I will be and what I will become in the future, will I ever get to the point I can live a somewhat normal life? Will I ever be able to return to work, have another wife or girlfriend, be able to spend time with my son and not regret the things I have said and done to put him on a every other weekend rotation that I have? I have no answers to these questions. There is one thing I never wanted in my life and that was to be a weekend dad, I saw what being a weekend father does to children, especially younger children, now my son is about to turn 13 but I wanted to be there for him every day of his childhood, but for reason not only of my own making but his mothers I cannot. So I have and will continue to make the best of the time I do have with him. Why am I writing about this? Well I will tell you, if you don’t already know and if you do please bear with me for this will be somewhat redundant.

Things have changed in my life not only for me personally but for my family, I am no longer with my wife of 14 years and I have been on disability for almost 6 months and I don’t make any money I also have to pay out of my disability child support for my other son which only gives me a little over 300 dollars a month to live on, I am currently living on the compassion of others and I am extremely grateful to him for allowing me to live here because he doesn’t have to, he knows how grateful I am. To explain why I am no longer with my wife is an attempt in futility because not only am I to blame but she is also. On my part I can tell you that when I was younger I cheated on her with another woman, and over the years I have left her on several occasions, yes it was wrong and I have admitted it, but because of who and what I am it is a part of me. She will tell you that I have cheated on her more than once but I don’t consider the other episode cheating and this is according to her rules now, you see we were separated, living in different house and were not seeing her, and I slept with another woman. Now why is this different because she is seeing another man right now and she doesn’t consider it cheating because we are separated and living I different places and for her it is ok to be doing this. Her words not mine. This is just not worth the effort to continue you see her friend is acting an ass and I can no longer tolerate it…..

Dan Kline


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