Take some time to make this decision…..


motivational-quotes-am-i-a-bad-person-for-waiting-to-die_large

Well I am sick, now it seems that I have had many problems as of late with my body and well all of the other things that are happening in my life, but this is as serious or more serious than even my botched suicide attempts. I have bacterial meningitis it can be life threatening to a man my age, but that is nit the part in fear, funny right. The part I fear is the chance that I will become a vegetable, I will still breathe, my heart will still pump but I as a person will not be there, no personality, no person just a body, that scares me more than anything in the world. I have and will be going for IV antibiotics for several weeks twice a week, I was told that there is a 70% chance that if I cannot keep my fever down that I will become that vegetable, and about a 20% chance that I could die, I am not contagious as I thought I was in the beginning and actually the problem is this it is in my spinal cord, I have several abscesses where the body is fighting the bacteria and have made, well pus pockets in my spinal cord, it will eventually work itself into the fluids surrounding my brain and that can be a problem. It is funny I will say this all the times I was too much of a coward to kill myself and right here and now the universe has given me the out I want, I can stop taking the antibiotics and left the fever take me and just slip either into the twilight or just plain out die, it is that simple. Could that be what I want, sure I want to die I think about it every day, but now it is a reality or could be a reality if I want, time to make the decision that I have tried to make over the years, will the world and my son live on without me and be fine, I think so.

With much love and gratitude,

Dan Kline

http://www.cdc.gov/meningitis/bacterial.html

http://www.thelancet.com/series/bacterial-meningitis

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3 Responses to “Take some time to make this decision…..”

  1. I have tried to take myself out of this life several times and even when I did nothing to intervene, God did. I stopped playing that
    game when I decided that God wanted me here and if I chose a
    gun next time I would be the person that had to live the rest of
    their lives totally brain damaged with half a face.

    It is not in our hands Dan. I don’t know why some are healed and others die but I do know WE are not the ones in control. If God
    wants you here, HE will heal you even if you choose to do nothing.

    You are spending too much time alone, wrapped in your own fear.
    It is never too late to change your life and make it one worth living! Look around love. There are so many in pain. Someone in your
    environment right now needs your help. Your touch would make their life better, easier, happier, and it IS Contagious!

    It will not stop you from dying. It will keep you from dwelling on it and make the most of the time you have. It will make you a part of something bigger while you are here.

    God Bless you and keep you my friend.

  2. Please be strong! Things have a way of turning around, even when you least expect them to.

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