It takes the mind of a man so confused to understand that things never, ever will go the way he thinks. It seems to fail that when you think that you are doing the one thing you want to do it never is the one thing that is right. Always something so simple, so insignificant to you is the rest of the world’s destruction. It never matters what you want even if it is so simple that to you it is just that, simple. You can hope for it, pray for it, desire it so much, but in the end you are wrong it is never what it ever will be, because I don’t think that anyone but one’s self understands. I have been told so many times I will, I will, but yet it never happens. Then when it gets to the point of complete and utter frustration that you can no longer stand it, you are wrong, you are asking for too much, you don’t understand. Just one thing, that too me is simple I wanted to see you, not for a week, a day or even an hour, all I wanted is just a glimpse. But it neither was nor will ever to be, the reasons escaped me and still yet do. To you I always asked, to me I hardly asked.

Words have failed me to explain to you, to make you understand and now I never will. You keep yourself in such an unpredictable state of constant flux that I cannot keep up with you. Now I have destroyed the only thing I ever loved, because in the end I will never tell you that your words were not right, I will always bow to your wants, needs and desires. I will live in sorry and loss, but I will move on whether I want to or not because I cannot bear to feel as if I have caused you such great pain, for what seems such a simple thing, please remind me that I do not understand.

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