Would you understand?????


47_ronin_ttileHow is it that a man can only be one man and yet be many men at one time? How is it that a man can walk fully in the sunlight yet only live in the shadows? Am I this man of many men? Am I able to walk fully in the sunshine yet only live in the shadows?

I do, I do all of these things and more, I have more than one mind, I have more than one person living in my head and yet I am fully aware of all things that go on around me, inside of me and in the shadows that surround me. I am passionate, I am strong, and I am intelligent. But I am also weak, uncontrolled and misguided.

I have no one master, meaning I am not the master of myself, in this regards I am a Ronin a man with no master, destined to be alone, to be directionless, to be unguided for the rest of my life. Does this make me sad? No because it is a future, a decision I have made for myself.

I cannot be anything to anyone because I cannot be anything for my own self. If I have confused you then all you have to do is look in my eyes, you will see the truth there, you will also see the absence of life, love and happiness. You will see confusion, anger, fear and hatred. I will never be one to look upon another and see what others do, I only see what you want, what you need, what I can do for you. Make no mistake, for I will never have a master, nor be my own master.

You see emotions control men, not the other way around. It is emotions that get in the way of everything and nothing. In the end you only have yourself, you can never rely on others to do for you, and you must do for yourself.

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One Response to “Would you understand?????”

  1. fascinating writing. would like to converse with you more. great blog. promoting it about. solidarity from london – e v elliott

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