Archive for the ME Category

CBT Oil more answers than questions?

Posted in Alters, Anger, Anxiety, Depression, DID, ME, PTSD, Uncategorized on April 11, 2018 by dankline2000

Ya, so that title is backward on purpose, just as I was finishing writing the last blog I found this.

 

HOLY SHIT BATMAN, THE JOKES ON ME,

I am not even going to try to copy paste this or rewrite it so here is the link.

 

https://www.solcbd.com/blogs/news/doing-it-wrong-how-to-dose-cbd-oil-for-anxiety

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So CBT Oil….. Pro’s / Con’s?

Posted in Alters, Anger, Anxiety, Depression, DID, ME, PTSD, Uncategorized on April 11, 2018 by dankline2000

So I have decided to try something different for a change and I am doing this on a trial basis, I have been taking CBT (hemp oil) 1000mg in 33mg doses for the last 3 days. On the first day of taking it, I found that I did feel different, calmer, more or should I say less anxious, angry, and even less fearful. But I am going to put that down as the placebo effect if you think it works then it actually will. That night I only took 3mg of Xanax to fall asleep. I won’t even get started on the fucking fact that a six-week therapy drug has been in my system for over ten fucking years, fucking with my nervous system, shakes or tremors, serious mood swings, but I digress this is not that blog, YET!

Ok so day two went well still had the same feeling as day one but I did notice something else, I was engaging others which as you well know I don’t do very well. Actually, I should say I did when I was younger but that was then and things have been extremely different the last 20 years or so. But I was actually engaging in conversation and, wait for it, just wait for it…… cracking fucking jokes, believe it or not, my friends I have a great sense of humor and my off the cuff jokes and pretty damn good. Is this CBT oil working? Not going to render judgment just yet. That night still took 3mg of Xanax to get to sleep.

And now day three, I actually slept the whole night but awoke in somewhat of a grouchy mood, didn’t want to get out of bed and actually ran through some thoughts in my head about how to get out of work today. But I am at work, speaking of which on day two I was more focused and on task than I have been in a while. Still not rendering a judgment. I do know that the starter dose will not work for a full 24 hours so I asked and was told that for different afflictions (yes I said that) that different doses were used. That the 33mg was just the suggested starter dose. And here is what I found out from Medical News Today Online and dated December 2017, just saying.

Chronic pain: Take between 2.5 and 20 milligrams (mg) by mouth for no more than 25 days.

Epilepsy: Consume between 200 and 300 mg of CBD by mouth daily for up to 4.5 months.

Movement problems associated with Huntington’s disease: Taking 10 mg every day for six weeks can help ease movements.

Sleep disorders: Take between 40 and 160 mg.

Schizophrenia: Consume between 40 and 1,280 mg CBD by mouth daily for up to 4 weeks.

Glaucoma: One dose of between 20 and 40 mg applied under the tongue can help to relieve pressure in the eye. However, caution is advised – doses greater than 40 mg might actually increase pressure.

Patients with chronic anxiety are often advised to avoid cannabis, as THC can trigger or amplify anxiety and paranoia in some people.

However, a review from Neurotherapeutics suggests that CBD may help to reduce the anxiety felt by people with certain anxiety disorders.

 

The researchers point to studies showing that CBD may reduce anxiety behaviors in disorders such as:

 

Post-traumatic stress disorder

General anxiety disorder

Panic disorder

Social anxiety disorder

Obsessive-compulsive disorder

The review notes that current medications for these disorders can lead to additional symptoms and side effects and that people may stop taking the drugs because of these unwanted effects.

CBD has not shown any adverse effects in these cases to date, and the researchers call for CBD to be studied as a potential treatment method. But people please note that they have no suggested dosage for this and as far as my research has shown they don’t it is as needed on a case by case account.

So now on day three I have taken 33mg this morning and plan to take another 15mg about 5pm and see the effects and then if needed another 15mg at bedtime. If anyone knows more than what I am sharing or has any thoughts at all please share them because it sucks having Xanax poisoning and the fact that they put me on Wellbutrin to help me decrease and stop taking the Xanax is not working. And no I have not told my Doctor and yes I have stopped taking the Wellbutrin but that was because it was making me angrier like it did the last time I took it and yes I stopped taking it about two weeks before trying the oil.

In regards to a question…..

Posted in Alters, Anger, Guilt, ME, PTSD, Questions, Uncategorized on January 30, 2017 by dankline2000

Marieolivia (a reader of one of my posts Yes I do this….)

3 daysletsgetstartedbaby.wordpress.com

To me this sounds like not taking responsibility for your own life. So if no one else cares about you (or so you say) why don’t YOU care? Why don’t YOU give a shit about yourself? You also write that nothing changes, and nothing gets better, isn’t this a perfect example that cutting doesn’t help you either. It gives relief, and we need relief. We crave it desperately, but don’t delude yourself into thinking that cutting takes your problems away.

You asked your reader (in this instance me) where this leaves you. This leaves you with one hell of a job to get out of the funk. But you’re the only one that can do it. And it will never change before you decide that it will. I believe that you can change your life.

 

Thank you first of all for being so forthright and bluntly honest, I truly do appreciate this.

The questions you’re asking me about my post are not very easy to answer but then they just might be simpler than I think. No, I don’t take responsibility for my own life not anymore, reasons are not easy for me to explain but in the end, the truth is I just don’t. I have fucked it up beyond all recognition. No, I don’t give 2 shits about myself, but have you heard the saying that those who can’t do, teach? Guess you could say the same about myself, if I truly didn’t give 2 shits about myself shouldn’t I have done something about by now instead of bitch and complain? I tried; I tried really hard but just couldn’t do it. Change, now change is a scary subject for me. The issue is I have tried to change only to end up right back where I started. You know what this is the same old drivel and dumbass shite that I have been writing about since I started this blog.

So I will take your advice MarieOlivia, where does this leave me?

Yes, I do this…..

Posted in Alters, Anger, Anxiety, Depression, DID, Guilt, ME, PTSD with tags on January 27, 2017 by dankline2000

red-drops-hd-1080p-wallpapers-download-1024x576.jpg

I cut…………………

Don’t ask why because if you don’t know about it then you don’t know the release that it brings. To me, it works better than meds. Mostly my left hand right above the thumb, it has been cut on so many times it has no feelings. Why do I do it is the question many people will ask, the whys and what for. I will tell you this I get to the point where nothing else works, not pills, booze, sleep, nothing else works so I cut, and no it doesn’t hurt it does release the endorphins that settle me down. I am not even sure why I am admitting this now of all times, oh yes I do this is perhaps the most stressful point in my life. Literally, I have lost everything. No, I don’t want to kill myself but I do want this time period of my life to move on, think Ground Hog Day with Bill Murray. It seems that every day is the same nothing I do differently seems to matter. I try and try and yet to what end, I still have the stressors, I still have the same fucking thoughts, I stand in absolute silence staring out into the world and seeing nothing but shit, fuck this, I hate it. I have said at least once a day my entire adult life, no one listens to me, no gives a fuck about me and never will. So my dear reader where the fuck does that leave me? I will let you answer that for yourself.

With much gratitude,

Dan Kline

Hello, it’s me…..

Posted in Alters, Anger, Anxiety, Depression, DID, Drug Abuse, Guilt, Loss, Love, ME with tags , , , , , , , , on June 23, 2015 by dankline2000

I believe that there is something happening to my mind. I find that I cannot hear myself, I cannot feel myself. I am afraid that I am breaking up again. The world holds little charm for me again, it’s all just a little too big for me. I am not thinking of ending my life but perhaps my lifestyle. I fear I need to change in order to survive, because you see I cannot go on in the manner in which I have been, constantly shifting personalities like the shuffling of a deck of cards. The lies I tell myself in order to make it from day to day. The constant feeling of having to protect myself, yes I know, all sounds a bit paranoid if you ask us, but I didn’t and I won’t you see because we cannot be trusted to even make sure that all of us don’t come out at once, all in the same place, space and time. Thus we begin again, time to reinvent William Daniel Boyd Kline one more time.

With all my love and gratitude,

Dan  Kline

A thought…..

Posted in Alters, Anger, Anxiety, Depression, DID, ME, PTSD, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , on September 17, 2013 by dankline2000

No_Fear_5_-_black__66275.1308767856.1280.1280Fear is only a product of our imagination, we do not fear what is happening but we fear what may happen.

With Much Love and Gratitude,

Dan Kline

The secret…..

Posted in Alters, Anger, Anxiety, Depression, DID, Guilt, Loss, ME, PTSD, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , on August 21, 2013 by dankline2000

secretI am the secret in your life, never to be mentioned, never to be seen in the light of day, unknown to others I sit and wait for you like a lost puppy. I don’t want to be a secret anymore; I want to walk beside you in the presence of others, to be known, to be seen, to be with you in every way.