Archive for the Poetry Category

But a Fool…..

Posted in Anger, Anxiety, Depression, DID, Poetry, PTSD, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , on January 4, 2014 by dankline2000

Am I a fool, I ask again, am I a fool,

I must be for you see I have lain my heart upon the headsman’s block,

I have bared my very deepest hearts desire to you,

Did you listen to me, those words I spoke to you, did you listen to my words of love and joy, I know you listened, but I know also that you did not hear those words,

Did you read the words I wrote, did they find a hold someplace within your heart and soul,

I fear that I am but a fool for telling you these things, a fool for sharing with you all my wants, desires, joys and fears,

Over and over I tell myself but to leave you be, to let you go on your way,

For you must be happy, if not then at least content, If none of these, then what?

I am but a fool you see, for I thought that perhaps you might have wanted me, needed me, loved me in some small way.

I have given my life to thee, my word, my heart and soul. And thus you have spurned me, left me to lay in a misery of mine own making.

Blessed be the one you love, for he does not know what he has.

Tearing down my last defenses…..

Posted in Alters, Anger, Anxiety, Depression, DID, Poetry, PTSD, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , on March 17, 2013 by dankline2000

The wheel weaves as the wheel wills.....

The wheel weaves as the wheel wills…..

Trebuchet, the words ring from the voices of the defenders of my walls, the walls of my emotional castle,

Defenders rushing to and fro watching and waiting as boulder after boulder of emotions are hurled at my defenses,

Madness it seems to me for they do not know where the boulders will land, and land they do battering my defenses till they weaken from repeated blows,

The emotions race through me like fire in my veins, racing to the very heart of me,

I am left defenseless, not more walls to be torn down, I am vulnerable, and I am in the open to be taken from one emotion to another,

I cannot hate you, I cannot ever deny you, and you are as much a part of me as the very air I breathe,

Tell me what to do, give me a purpose once again, without you I am no better than a gaishain, a white robed servant doing a year and a day of penance,

I have no honor left, no fight, I have no way to tell you of my love for you, worse to tell you these things than not, not true either way holds misery for me,

Your indifference is it feigned, I could only hope but in my heart I know it is true.

With much love and gratitude,

Dan Kline

If only…..

Posted in Alters, Anger, Anxiety, Depression, DID, Guilt, Poetry, PTSD, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , on February 4, 2013 by dankline2000

If only.....

If only…..

If only, I could turn back the hands of time,

If only, I could return to you the things you need,

If only, I could make you smile that secret smile just for me,

If only, I could make you understand how badly I feel,

If only, I could just tell you I am sorry and make it all better,

If only, I could just sit and tell you the things that would make it different,

If only, I could but I can’t, so much has gone before, there is no more change, no more tries, only heartbreaking good byes,

If only, I can’t anymore…..

Dan Kline

Seeing for the first time…..

Posted in Alters, Anger, Anxiety, Depression, DID, Poetry, PTSD, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , on February 4, 2013 by dankline2000

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I can see for the first time things I have not before, I see the truth of it all, from the extraordinary to the mundane, I have lived all my life in a way that would have ordinary people hiding in a corner holding themselves in uncontrollable terror and fear, its grip holding them tightly never letting go, to be able to tell you what I have seen in my life would be a book of many horrors and yet I still am, I still am, am I a person that is like others, I fear not, and yet if you met me on the street you would not even give me a glance, do I hide, no for I would have you know me, I would take you into my mind and let you see, perhaps you will understand me, better than I understand me, perhaps it is me that is the one sitting in the corner holding myself in uncontrollable terror and fear and all of you are just in my imagination, could it be so…..

With much love and gratitude,

Dan Kline

Looking at myself…..

Posted in Alters, Anger, Anxiety, Depression, DID, Fatherhood & Family, Poetry, PTSD, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , on February 4, 2013 by dankline2000

man-out-of-body-small

Looking over my body…..

I stand looking over my own body, I feel no fear I know no remorse, finally a sense of peace. It is not as bad as I thought, I am relieved I haven’t made much of a mess, there was not a whole lot of blood, I figured there would be more, I guess not. There are others here some I know others in uniform I don’t, they don’t matter now, none of them matter anymore. I am free now, free from all the things that held me in this life. I know no more pain, fear and anger. I feel peace, I know peace, I am at peace. No more tears for me, I don’t deserve them…..

With much love and gratitude,

Dan Kline

Over the edge…..

Posted in Alters, Anger, Anxiety, Depression, Poetry, PTSD, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , on February 4, 2013 by dankline2000

falling-over-the-edge

falling over the edge…..

I sit on the edge of a precipice tottering, swaying trying to keep my balance,

My nerves raw, my eyes wet with worry, fear, sadness and rage,

It seems to be the end of a point in my life, to short, full of danger, lifelessness, and loneliness,

I always seem to be wrong, to say the wrong thing, do the wrong thing,

I stand on the edge, waiting for the wind to sweep me away, to feel the weightlessness of zero gravity, the act of falling, the feeling of no fear, I know what I am doing, I know where I am going and I know what I am leaving behind.

I feel only the weight of things left undone, words left unsaid, deeds undone, no more does it matter you see I am falling and will soon have no more worries in this world…..

With much Love and gratitude,

Dan Kline

Poetry…..

Posted in Poetry, Uncategorized with tags on October 27, 2012 by dankline2000

So I have been asked to put my poems into a collective and submit them to a professional poem website but I dint know if any, if anyone knows a site like that please let me know.

With much love and devotion,

Dan Kline