Still, what to use as a Title…..

I’m just sitting here, jumbled mind, incoherent emotions not really knowing how I am feeling or even what I am thinking. My life feels stifled, stagnant even, not moving in any direction at all. I have gone through the loss cycle again, lost almost all of my physical things we already know about my mind. My job is not going very well and actually I have been contemplating a move a life change. To be honest I am no longer sure what to do. I know the only reason I stay here is because my son lives here and although he is now 17 I think he still needs me, explanation my son and I haven’t seen each other at all and it has been that way since he was 15, I am to blame sometimes my alters get in the way of…. I cannot blame them the truth is it was the weekend and I was drinking and that is one hell of a no, no with my condition because, well things get really fucked up in my mind. I mean honestly the truth needs to be told and I have no one else to tell but you guys. The where’s, whys and how’s of the situation are not important what is important is the fact that I lost control of my mouth and I let the landscape of my mind flow right out of my…… guys there was a whole lot of things going on at the time and I really don’t know how to explain all of this but I know I need to try.

 

Ok, so he had started smoking pot about age 14, I don’t condemn him and I asked him why one day while riding in the…. Aww geeez there is so much to this that I need a moment.